4 months ago I was assaulted at work, and this resulted in a severe concussion and back injury. As Im sure you guys are familiar with, I also experienced intense nausea and a constant headache, dizziness, tinnitus, double vision, light sensitivity, noise sensitivity…the whole 9 yards.

I’ve improved a lot since I first got hurt. Due to physical therapy my back is almost back to where it was before. My nausea is almost under control. I’m able to tolerate being outside and listening to music. Car rides are still hard but with the help of anti nausea medication I can manage them. My dizziness is still very exacerbated, I cant walk without a walker because I get so dizzy and need something to hang on to. My double vision is still there, but I’m learning to handle it, I still have a 24/7 headache that seems to have stabilized with medication, I still have tinnitus that drives me up the wall but I can usually ignore it and am learning to focus on other noises like the music or audiobook I usually have going on in the background. As you can see I can even look at screens for a bit if I decide the worsening headache is worth it.

Yeah, the physical symptoms are hard, but goddamn I never thought the mental impact would be the hardest thing to deal with some days. I now have nightmares, anxiety dreams, and it’s hard not to feel depressed about how slow my progress has been. I had an appointment today with my doctor and we landed on the topic of Halloween and how I had wanted to go to a Halloween party but couldn’t because I got a migraine that day. (Oh yeah, migraines are also something I now deal with on a frequent basis when I rarely had them before.)

My doctors are amazing. This particular doctor really hit the nail on the head today when she narrowed in on how upset I was that I hadn’t been able to see my friends. She realized how depressed I was because it’s been 4 months and I’ve only had one friend make an effort to come visit me. My family always visits me and I see my husband on a daily basis but I miss my friends. Shit. I know that they care about me and they’re all just busy, they don’t realize how much I miss them and that I am really limited in going out. I know they’re not bad people, but I can’t seem to stop crying today because I’ve been trying to stay positive but bringing that feeling out in the open made me raw inside.

I just kind of needed to vent to people who might understand. I just feel so miserable.