So I attend weekly SMART recovery groups. My drugs of choice were alcohol and cocaine but I’ve been sober for a little over a year now. (Hurrayy!) However I’ve been picking since I was like 13 and lately I’ve been doing it like no other — mainly my lips (main problem area) and also my shoulders/upper arms whenever little blemishes form, they’ll be open sores for weeks-months because I cannot leave them alone. Anyways.

We were working through workbook in that group, as we do, and I decided to do this one worksheet on picking, since alcohol or drug cravings/urges to use haven’t been all that bad for me lately. Hopefully this is helpful to someone! (I included my responses.)

(Worksheet/tool is called DEADS, yes, very terrible acronym.)

D = Deny / Delay (Don’t give into the urge) How long do urges last if you don’t give in? How bad do they get before fading? What can you quickly do that will help you deny them?

About 30 seconds-1 minute… IT’S BAD!! I almost always give in. To do quickly: something physical/self-soothing, such as holding my own hands, squeezing my hands, rubbing my fingertips together, tapping the tops of my thighs. Or grounding, like feeling the chair I’m sitting on with my hands.

E = Escape What triggers can you get away from? What can you do to escape a trigger’s influence?

I can get away from… those thought loops I get stuck in, those super uncomfortable situations. I can… think positively and sit still. I can physically move my hand away from my face or arms. It’s gonna suck and feel bad but I can at least try to do it.

A = Avoid, Accept, or Attack What can you do to avoid urges? What techniques or strategies have helped you “to be” with the urge until it passes without giving in? What tools or words can you use to attack the urge?

In order to avoid urges: I can keep my mind calm, and I can consider situations as soon as I foresee them or begin to experience a difficult situation, instead of wallowing in dread and discomfort. I can keep lip balm on me! (The best kind, not the greasy kind.) Tools/words: “Calm.” “Don’t.” “It’s OK.” “Peace.”

D = Distract yourself with an activity What activities have you considered, written down, or done to take your mind off the urge, and to fill the time you used to spend on the addictive activity?

Writing/journaling. Anything that occupies my hands. Getting my nails done. Deep breathing/meditating for a moment. Doing something productive (move the story forward.)

S = Substitute for addictive thinking What thoughts can/have you developed to dispute the illogical thinking that comes with urges? What healthy activities can you do to replace that thinking and feeling?

“You are not stuck.” “You may need a moment to rest/ think/ breathe/ collect yourself, but that cannot be the same thing as shutting down and actively destroying yourself.” Healthy replacement activities: Texting affirmations to friends. Exercising. Cooking. Journaling. (If I’m driving, which I often am when I start to pick) something simple, like counting and observing random things I see.