I (32F) and my bf (31M) have been together for two years and are now expecting a child. He already has a child (4f) who I have accepted as my own. I came to the relationship with a dog that my ex-fiancé gifted me at the end of my then relationship.

My dog is a 6 year old shepherd and I’ve had her since she was 8 weeks old she’s friendly, good with kids, 45 lbs. but unfortunately doesn’t know her own size. She does have an anxiety issue which is treated with a crate that she loves, medication when she needs and lots of exercise.

My bf won’t move in with me or officially start our family which he really wants to start bc his daughter is afraid of dogs, which I think she’ll get over as she learns the dog and as she grows up, for reference I was also afraid of dogs as a kid. My bf is afraid the dog won’t react well to kids and a newborn in the house and because she is a larger and clumsier breed and anxious he’s worried she will snap.

I want to explore other options like deeper training before just getting rid of my dog but he’s adamant the dog goes before the baby comes. Other than the danger of dogs with kids he also doesn’t like the dog is a gift from my ex and says the dog reminds him of my past relationship and he would like to start fresh with me with our family.

He generally isn’t a dog person to begin with and didn’t grow up with pets in the home but I did and my dog is my family. So I’m having a hard time being ok with having to rehome her without giving her a chance. He also told me he doesn’t want to risk the danger of having a dog in the house with a newborn.

I’m not willing to part ways with the dog or the father of my child. But my dog is my first child. AITA for not choosing?

ETA: a lot of you are commenting saying my dog is not trained which is untrue. She is trained. She’s trained very well and listens well. She just hasn’t lived with kids before and has anxiety. I’m not a bad dog owner or short sighted at all. I completely understand the dangers of dogs and kids as I’ve had dogs my whole life.

Also. I won’t be dumping my boyfriend and making myself a single mother.

Update:

A lot of you are extremely cruel. Nowhere in my original post did I say I was rehoming my dog. I actually said I was unwilling to.

We have decided to take the 4 y/o to therapy and have her go to a training center with the dog. When baby is born we will keep the dog with my brother for a month and then slowly integrate her with the newborn to see how the dog does.

But I do want to say how dare people suggest I abort my child and tell me I’m going to be a terrible mom and that I’m a terrible dog mom or person and you literally only know a part of one situation in my entire 32 years of life. And no I’m not marrying him due to the fact I DONT WANT TO BE MARRIED which is OK. so stfu on that front too. I’m truly disappointed by this community as I thought bc I’m an avid listener to the pod and know how reasonable the hosts are that this was a safe space.