I know what you’re probably thinking. “Oh god. Another couple looking for a threesome with a woman.” The copy pasted mass sent messages from unicorn hunters everywhere lingering in the corners of your inbox come back to the forefront of your mind. Along with that meme (you know the one) of the couple who had your next drink put on their tab while they give you the eyes. The times you thought, “What the hell!” and gave it a shot only to leave with a weird story to tell later. I get it. Believe me.

I am the female half of this couple and I say it with pride that I spent some wanderlustful years being a unicorn. Whereas most of my encounters were a lot of fun (I’d have to be a special kind of masochist to keep playing with couples if it wasn’t I guess), there were definitely some encounters or offers that were far less than satisfactory. The ugly, the bad, the awkward, the hilarious… I got stories for days. That being said, I strive to make the experience fun for everyone involved because, well… isn’t that the point?

I’ll cut to the chase. Transparency is something I value quite a lot. My husband and I are very much in love and we like having fun with other people. We have had mostly sexy interactions with men and if you were to ask my husband, he’s more than happy watching me get spoiled. However, as much as I appreciate the selflessness of his nature (also a quality he possesses in bed, imjustsayin), I’m feeling a little reminiscent of the other half of my sexuality. I’m bisexual and I have had many committed, romantic relationships with women.

Speaking of my husband, I think bringing him to the table is pretty valuable. I will include photos of him too which is a weird rarity these days. First of all, he’s gorgeous! He’s also extremely sweet, understanding and observant. He respects boundaries and autonomy.

As for myself, I’m not interested in putting on a show and using you as my prop. I offer genuine intimacy. I’m not using this as some dumb flailing attempt to save my marriage. It’s already solid so I’m not going to throw any fits of jealousy. I’m not here to compete with anyone. I want to appreciate you as the sexy woman you are who also has a brain and a heart. I’ll be gentle with all parts of you. No ace’s up my sleeves. No catch. No resentment. No creepy bullshit.

If this sounds like a good time— or at least not a time you’ll look back on and cringe about for the rest of your life— shoot me a message. Xoxo

PS. To the men feeling excluded right now, calm down. You can message me too. I’m just not promising to be as gentle with you. 😉

Also couples. Remember that gum commercial from the 90s? Double the pleasure, double the fun! Shit. Did I just age myself there?