(posted this in the r/swingers sub, but thought it may be more important to post here)

I am ENM and have been for the past 2 and a half years. But my partner never felt comfortable going to events or even remotely being a part of this community. For better or for worse my partner and I split ways a month back, and have been on a self understanding journey of sorts. Something I realized is how much I wanted to be a part of the Colorado kink/swing/ENM LS community, and that I was going to make a genuine effort to get my foot in the proverbial door.

Let's get this info out of the way so you understand what I'm working with. Two things I care about more than anything else when it comes to making connections with others, is respect and communication. I am someone who prides themselves on their ability to communicate adequately and honestly. Being in an ENM relationship has taught me so much about that, and I still have much more to learn, but it's something I'm constantly practicing. Respect is something that's ingrained into my very being (thanks pops), and have made great advances in both my career and my personal life because of that. If respect is given and reciprocated, I feel communication is easier to accomplish. I'm 27 years old, fit, clean as an std free whistle, straight, 6'0", and a very high sex drive. I'm funny (so I've been told), charismatic, goofy, employed, passionate and eager to learn! I'm also understanding, accepting, and introspective.

Now onto what I want/why I want it. I think we can all agree that you don't get into this life style because you DON'T want to have some crazy kinky consensual sex. I certainly do. But something I want that isn't the sex itself is to finally belong somewhere, to something, that I've always identified with. To be able to meet, and talk to like minded individuals in person about the LS, learn why they decided to be in it, learn about the different clubs and events I can attend, to regale about the amazing experiences they've had or even the bad ones, and to share my own. To share fantasies and possibly find new things to want that I never knew existed. To then make genuine long lasting connections with the people of this community and to grow alongside them. I'm tired of not being able to talk about how I feel and what I yearn for to people who deem it as something negative or immoral. I want to get to a point where I surround myself with individuals who appreciate and love me for who I am. People who love what I love, who desire to connect with people the way I do. And I know that sounds cliche, but I can't think of a better reason. I'm not here for easy sex, I'm not here to ruin anyone's relationship, I'm not here thirsting for a new partner. I'm here because I want to be me, I want to be around others like me, and I want the chance to experiance things I've only ever been able to dream about without being judged. Even if that means I don't get to have sex with anyone for a while, at least I'll be somewhere I'm comfortable being, with people who accept me and are willing to teach me/show me how it's done (the LS in general, I have experience doing most kink based activities such as threesomes, you play, edging, sub/Dom dynamics, light BDSM, role play, etc, but can always learn how to be better at them!)

Having said all that, I have NO idea where or how to start as a single male 🤦 I've read several things, all describing how difficult or IMPOSSIBLE it will be for me and how for the most part, my kind aren't welcome around here. And unfortunately, I understand that. Guys can be terrible and most of us are just here for the sex. They want to come in and fuck around, they could give less of a flying fuck about boundaries or actually connecting with anyone. But as a guy whos m.o ISN'T solely based between my legs, I want to know what I can do to separate myself from that majority of SM's, and put my best foot forward so I have the best chance of being accepted. As I said in the title, I'm ready to go all in and I just need to know how. I'm open to discussions online but would love to meet some people in person!