I know everyone struggles as freshman at certain points, but I feel like I'm just not getting any better. I'm constantly in my room doing nothing but work while my roommates are having fun and able to connect without me and going home every weekend while I feel like an out-of-state friendless hermit because I'm constantly swamped with work and rehearsals. (I'm on the colorguard w/ Clemson's marching band, this also means that my Saturdays are fully taken up and I can't fly home to TX on a weekend if I wanted to. Which I have been wanting to do since I got here.).

I'm currently failing biology because I bombed my first exam and because of the program I'm in, I need a grade higher than a C in order to go onto further classes/into the school I wanted originally. I'm in the Clemson Bridge program so I'm taking 18 hours worth of credits this semester and if I pass with a 70 or higher at the end of the Spring semester, I am automatically enrolled into Clemson as a sophomore.

My biology lab is the main cause of my stress right now. It is, to say the least, a shit-show. I rarely understand what the professor is saying or what the labs even mean, and I'm not the only one. Everyone in that class is confused and now we have a lab report over labs we have little to no information about or not even knowing what the lab is supposed to be because the professor just doesn't teach and doesn't give two fucks about. Supposedly, he was a stand-in for another professor who is in the hospital currently which makes me so pissed off because I actually could've had a professor that taught and I would be passing. I'm a veterinary science major as well, so my decline in my biology classes hits me harder than it would another class unrelated to my major. I'm going to tutoring, I'm attending group study sessions yet nothing in biology is clicking and I'm stressed out 24/7.

Because I'm on the colorguard w/marching band, this also means that my Saturdays are fully taken up and I can't fly home to TX on a weekend if I wanted to. (Which I have been wanting to do since I got here).

I know why they call it the freshman blues, but holy shit I genuinely dont know how much longer I can go without losing it. Does it ever get better??

Edit: expanded on some things

TLDR: I'm out of state, have an awkward relationship with my roommates that I don't think will ever get past the awkward phase, have a shitty lab professor and I'm failing classes and struggling to find a good study habit. I'm taking 18 credit hours and will have to take 12 in the spring to complete the 30 hour requirement and also pass all of my classes in order to transfer into Clemson. Feeling like my days are so repetitive and I'm so lonely all the time. Starting to feel like I made the wrong decision and that it's not going to get better.