so.. i am basically in the rabbit hole of F*ck it! What that means to me, i want to live my best life possible. Many of my relationships have fell away as I am working through trauma, I work for myself and I live alone in a little gated community. I moved from the US and sadly, most people in my life are economically struggling, so people can rarely visit me.

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I feel good, but alone. I don't take care of myself health wise, lots of poor food choices, smoking weed and drinking coffee most days. I don't understand, if I have what I want, how come I don't care for my body. I can admit, I am lonely and it's so so hard to build connections with folks who are working on themselves, people not looking for a free place to live or take advantage of me.

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Kinda feel like I'm going on the deep end, the deep end of..maybe this will just be my life for awhile and to enjoy what I have from it, the best way I can, even if I am alone.

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How do people motivate themselves to care about their physical health? I am sort of thinking of getting a pet, so I have some sort of furry friend obligation.