I realized yesterday that I have a pattern of finding myself drawn to men who are fantastically brilliant, kind, and funny, but are also hurting in a deep, and existential way. I think I am a fixer and I think it’s because I am also hurting in some deep, existential way. I stayed far too long with my ex, and lost myself in trying to save him from his drinking. I am sad because I truly believe that I love him profoundly. We have a lot in common, similar values, interests, and visions for the future, but he didn’t want to fix his drinking as much as I did, and it suffocated me along the way. I am devastated, having lost him and myself. I think I have a lot of internal work to do now.