Hi all,

I’m 24F and have recently come to the conclusion that my dad and I have a very codependent relationship. He is a high functioning alcoholic who did everything for my brother and I growing up. And still does A LOT of things that I feel I should be doing as an adult (and it makes me feel incompetent).

I’ve always had a boyfriend and cling to them. I am always heavily dependent on my boyfriends for companionship, emotional support, etc to the point of neglecting friendships and hobbies. I attribute this to the relationship I’ve had with my dad.

I love my dad and I know he loves me which is why he does all of this, but he is in denial about his addiction and I can tell — even though I moved across the country — he is still very much enmeshed with me and wants to know every detail of everything and help with whatever to maintain an illusion of control.

How do I heal from this/learn to be more of an adult and make my own decisions? I always second guess my moves because of how involved he is in my life. And it’s not just him — I seek out his advice FAR too often and I know that’s an issue I need to work on.