I’m curious to see what people think of these traits and behaviours I describe, because they came from someone self-described as being codependent but they’re behaviours I’d consider more likely from someone suffering narcissism.

They are: being unable to accept criticism of their unreasonable behaviour in a relationship, with the unreasonable behaviour being cold-shoulders and silent treatment. Then invalidating their partners hurt feelings through said behaviour, refusing to listen to their partner explain their feelings, being derisory of their described hurt feelings, and blaming them for the cold shoulders.

Is this anything like codependency?

I’ve always believed if someone loved and cared for you, it would break their hearts to know they hurt you. People of course make mistakes, but when you tell them they hurt you and they responded by gaslighting, deflecting, lying and making things up, being derisory of you for being hurt, changing reality and twisting; this to my thinking isn’t not love, it’s more like protection of their ego?

Threatened with the illusion they have of themselves by pointing out to them their propensity to give cold shoulder treatment, their response was to become defensive and to then ultimately block their partner and end it all.

So…is this anything like codependent behaviour anyone can recognise?