Damn feelings. I blew it

Hello ladies. I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice; maybe I need you to give me a reality check, or maybe I just need to type it out to get it off my chest.

A few weeks ago I met a new companion. I read her ad thoroughly (amazing, I know) to learn as much about her as possible. We had our appointment scheduled and it was good. On the way home, I texted her a thank you text and mentioned something about one of her stated hobbies that few outside the hobby would know. She texted me back and we began a friendly texting conversation.

She mentioned that she was moving to our market because she would do well and I confirmed that she would. We talked about the best area in our market to live. We continued texting pretty much daily and she would send me pictures of places locally she was.considering. This wasn’t the only subject of our friendly conversations.

I saw her again the next week and it frankly was the best appointment I’ve had with a companion. I brought her specialty items germane to her hobby as a “housewarming” gift for her new place. It was a GFE type of appointment and the sex was sensual and amazing. Best appointment ever by far.

We continued texting almost daily and I found myself checking my phone constantly waiting for her text. It seemed like we had a budding friendship developing. I had never texted with a companion like this before; it was always just business with scheduling texts only. She speaks four languages fluently so I sometimes texted her romantic sayings in one of the four languages (hat tip to google translate).

She was still in town finalizing her living arrangements but was set to leave town soon so I booked a third appointment before she left on tour. I booked her for two hours instead of one after having booked scores if not hundreds of strictly one hour appointments in my “career” in the business. I went to see her, bringing her flowers that she seemed to love. We did our thing for a bit but I lost my erection because i had other things on my mind. Most of the appointment was talking about our pasts, the business, her hobby, whatever. It was great talk where we really seemed to connect. As we were winding up, I told her I would like us to be friends outside of our appointments and she said that we were and why wouldn’t I know that. I told her that I know some companions have admitted being friendly to only retain good clients but she insisted that was not the case and seemed sincere. The appointment ended and I wished her safe travels on her tour.

We continued texting like friends almost daily but I found myself craving her text, looking at my phone constantly wanting to drink her in as she gave me my daily nourishment. I obviously was developing feelings for this girl beyond either the companion or friend relationships.

In one of our conversations, I mentioned that she was touring VERY rigorously over the next months, often staying in a city for less then two days, seemingly having to leave before she could settle in. She retorted that the aggressive touring was purposeful to keep her mind off of her problems. What problems could this beautiful young smart seemingly well to do woman have?

Obsessively thinking about her constantly, I began to wonder if my romantic advances were causing her discomfort- never mix business with pleasure, right? I didn’t want to add to her burdens, I wanted to be a friend.

And then I did something I will forever regret. I texted her to tell her that I hope I wasn’t becoming one of her problems by having these feelings for her. If she has to tour rigorously to ignore her problems, that I didn’t want to be one. She responded by dropping the hammer, incredulous about how could think I was a problem but that we should stop texting and keep it strictly professional. I may contact her to schedule a session.

I am crushed. I think we had a wonderfully budding friendship that my own insecurities just blew up. I’m not sure how to continue on. She is coming back in October and I have already booked her as soon as she is back in town but I’m lost as to where I go from here. I care about her immensely and my heart is shattered.

Can you give me anything?