It was a quiet evening as I was helping some newfriends set up in the glorious Islamic Sultanate of Istanbul and Samarra. A man had been wandering around Mt. Augusta for hours, tripping snitches, by the name of The_Goldtimbers. When asked what he was doing, he answered with a sketch "nothing" and continued to snoop around. He was later spotted racing around on a horse.

Much later, I log back into the city as all the Mt. Augustans have gone to sleep. I was just there to grab something in the warehouse of Istanbul. I walked by some newfriends still on and building, who were shouting "Salam Sultan!" in the bab al-Jadida when I see that The_Goldtimbers and somone walking with him by the name of DAVESDAVY tripping snitches and heading to Istanbul, as seen here. They breach the border and enter, wearing half-gold half-iron armour, walking to the group of newfriends and me and looking at us. I toss them one iron and walk past them down the road to the deserted warehouse, where I enter and open a chest.

I hear them following me outside and I see them sulking through windows. I immediately knew this was sketch, so I made sure I was wearing my full junk diamond armour. I closed the chest and made my way back to the door. I heard an arrow fire and slam against the door right as I was next to it. I stopped and equipped my sword in my hotbar along with my only pearl that I carried around. I walked outside of the warehouse and shut the door behind me.

Immediately I came face to face with the two, crouching. The_Goldtimbers shot me at near point-blank range with a bow as I stumbled backwards and equipped my sword. DAVESDAVY jumped into action and both of us started swinging.

Luckily, they caught fire almost instantly from my sword, and I repelled their attack. I slammed the sword down into The_Goldtimber's head and he exploded into an inventory-full of items, and I captured his pearl. I looked up to see DAVESDAVY struggling away on fire, and finally drop dead near the cliff.

As I called for backup to arrive, I noted the contents of his inventory, including a flint and steel and a weird untextured item called "$SPAWN_SHEEP$", along with other miscellaneous items. I distributed their loot equally to my citizens, and then I had the task of storing The_Goldtimber's pearl. He is now stored in the Islamic Caliphate's vault, while DAVESDAVY is still at large.

Be careful out there, and beware citizens of the Sultanah al-Islamiyah, he may try to come back and take revenge.