Disclaimer- Written Facts may differ from actual news.

Breaking News: Today the HCF continue their griefing spree by pearling random bystanders while they ask what a reddit is. In other, completely related news, the HCF proclaimed that they are not a bunch of forever-alone neckbeards but are in fact, a pack of twelve year olds with nothing to do.

On to news that no one cares about- earlier today the amazing guy known as the Doctor, or DragonBucket, or supreme-overlord of the mole people of Columbia, was pearled while doing timey-whimey related stuff in Augusta. He was subsequently released a few minutes later after using his mind powers to mentally rape his captors.

In weather, you should pack an umbrella because the forecast for this weekend expects a major storm of butthurt from both sides. Our news team has some wise words to anyone planning on taking on this drama: Prepare your anus.

Now for sports! Today was another fine day for those rich and powerful enough to play the elite sport of noob-hunting. Reports show that Foofed has registered over 300 confirmed kills, with Ttk2 following close behind with 274 lightning-related kills.

This is the Drama News Team, bringing you the news, whether you want us to or not.

^{Drama News Today is an affiliate of Fox News Corporation.}