Gather ‘round, all you youngins! Gather ‘round, gather ‘round. I’ve a story to tell you lot. One of bravery and brotherhood, of whales and waves, and of swashbuckling and buckswasheling. Gimme a pint of Northern Mead, and refill it once or twice, and aye, I’ll tell you the story from head to tail.

It began back in Winter of 875. It wasn’t so cold that year, but by then I’d been sailin’ with ol’ Cap’n Súraldin for nigh-on fifteen years, give or take. Aye, me, Brass’ook Harry, Jerry, Mann, and a couple other drunkards under ol’ Cap’n, give or take.

We’d had a run of good luck the previous season, but instead of buying another ship like all others did and branch out into corporations and somesuch, ol’ Cap’n went ahead and bought a fancy new engine from Opertin, and new ‘arpoons some bloke cooked up from those old Utarian Boat Rockets. Had to sail all the way up to Sunport in the offseason to get ‘em, and then we had to spend months on end to go through with the whole refit. A’course, I spent most of those months in the inn and the whorehouse, but I couldn’t have recognized Sea Bear if not for the bear-maiden figurehead. I still can’t believe Cap’n went to all this trouble for this engine that was like to cost more than two other tubs, and the guns to boot, but that was Cap’n. Loved the sea too much to give it up for a stuffy box of an office, even if it did get him more money than he could fill his boots with. Socks too!

Anyways, we set out from Onoma ‘Okole, got these three new engineers. One wouldn’t do shit without first asking for a guilder for his trouble, the second was always tired and quiet with the bags under his eyes. The third lad was just strange. All over the place, strange, dashing from one side of the engine room to another. And between you lot and me, I think he might’a been a tad queer.

We set out from Onoma ‘Okole in a warm winter, heading south to where we often do our whalin’ business. Got the harpoons all ready, set engines to maximum, and sang a dozen of those bawdy Castrisyan shanties for good luck and a good season. Tradition, and so forth, you know the way.

Few days go in, we caught a couple of small bowheads, and set some of the lads to work boilin’ ‘em down into oil, and setting aside some meat for supper. I, myself was scrubbin’ the deck of the ol’ Bear, and I was helping Brass’ook reset the ‘arpoons. The sky was all grey and ‘orrible, but that’s how it always is where the whales roam. Besides, Sea Bear was like new, she could take some sterner weather.

But over the horizon, Eagle-Eye Droojt spotted another ship. Sailing ship, not one of the new steamers. We decided, hey, we’re nice chums, may as well say hello.

But the closer and closer it got, and the more and more we signaled over, the more and more we realized that not all was meant to be! Y’see, this ship had black flags! Thems were pirates! Pirates of the Frozen Sea!

This pirate was no less than Ajhu Patel, by our Quar’rmaster’s reckoning, the Iceberg Scourge himself! Cap’n ordered full steam, but I shit you not, the engineers said

“Will I get paid?”

“No you fool, it doesn’t even matter.”

“Get paid matters. Very much.”

“No, we’re already AT full power.”

“That doesn’t really mean much, we could fudge it…”

“Doesn’t matter. Am I getting paid?”

Those fuckers, they finally got the engines burning nice an’ hot, but the problem is steamers don’t go near as fast as sails. Sure, they have no problems with becalming and can haul whales like a son of a whore, but in a race I’d bet on the ol’ canvas anyday. Sure enough, the bastard pirate was coming up on us, but Cap’n was no fool, no sir. He set us on a course due south.

Y’see, we were technically in Syddian waters at the time, even though we weren’t s’pose to. I suppose we might’ve even been in Glacier’s, but in any circumsuch, there was an icefield and Sea Bear, well her new engines were belchin’ fire and sparks but she did her job and took us in. Either Patel would break off his pursuit, or he’d have to be as mad as Cap’n to chase us into those waters.

We were praying for the former, but the latter turned out to be true. Fortunately Cap’n a clever whoreson and in the icefield he managed to make Sea Bear go through some damned awful channelways. But, Patel was gaining on us! Whatever were we to do?

I’ll tell you what we did. I shot the harpoon into the icebergs around us, and we went full throttle ahead. Those steamers, they might not go fast but they have raw, unadult’rated power like no man has ever seen. Sea Bear, towed the iceberg, and crushed Patel’s ship!

The pirates begged us to save those who lived, and we managed to get a tidy portion of their loot to boot! Haha! Moreover, we found some whaling grounds around there, even some of those big blues! 50,000 gallons of whale oil halfway through the season by the time all was said and done, and we went back out for another 50,000! Some of my best mates and whaling brothers we saved from that icefloat that day, and a few more years of that, well…

I’m sure you all’ve heard of the Súraldin Whaling Company. That had to come from somewhere, and I didn’t retire on nuthin’.

[M] Glimmer is having a whale of a time.