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We have endured their insolence long enough!
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The Khan sat on his throne, staring off into the distance. Perhaps throne wasn't exactly the right word, as this throne was on the back of a horse; but I digress. The Horde cantering along beside him had been acting differently as of late. Maybe it was due to the rapidly changing world around them, with huge cross-continental conflicts. Maybe the Horde had no place in this modern world. Or maybe they were just tired of being at peace for so damn long. Khan Kargan suspected it was the latter. His Horde longed for blood, or at least for a show of strength. Unlike the rest, though, Khan Kargan understood the importance of playing at politics and diplomacy, even if only as a ruse. Much as he would have liked to, he couldn't simply declare war on everyone and conquer everything; not without repercussions.

While deep in thought, a messenger rode up alongside him.

"O Khan, Khan Kargan the Well-Hung, High Chief of the steppe wanderers, Khagan of the Gefehrlich Horde and Khan of Khans to the--"

Kargan cut him off with a raise of his hand. He had no use for the never-ending honorifics bestowed upon the leader of the Horde by the groveling masses.

"My Khan, we have received a message from the Paypal Jungle."

"Fool, Paypal hasn't been invented yet, and I do hate to break the fourth wall. I assume you meant the Papal Jungle."

"Yes Lord, and please, may you remove my head from my shoulders for such a careless display of--"

"Maybe later. What is the message?"

"Of course, Lord. The Papal Jungle denounces our plans for colonization to the South-West, though they felt the need to emphasize the fact that we are not at war."

The Khan snorted. "Of course they would emphasize it; how foolish it would be to get into a war with the mighty Gefehrlich Horde! But something must be done about the Papal Jungle. We have endured their insolence long enough!"

"Forgive me for being so presumptuous, Great One, and please feel free to end my life if I am, but does this mean the Horde will march on these infidels?"

Oh, how the Khagan wanted to. To hear the screams of the unsuspecting Jungle-Dwellers... But no. He had made promises (ugh, diplomacy), and he was sworn to keep those promises.

"No. Not yet, at least, much as I would like to; our puppet-masters seem to have this thing about tryharding and attempting to win."

Seeing the messenger's confused expression, the Khan continued thusly: "Never mind, it's fourth wall stuff, you wouldn't get it. Anyway, while we are not going to war with them, we will have to teach them a lesson. Perhaps a Corvée will do."

TL;DR: The Gefehrlich Horde demands from the Papal Jungle a tribute of 100 infrastructure points worth of workers to be put to work in the fields for the next IRL week, after which point they will be sent home. Should the Jungle comply, there will be no problem; Should they resist, the Horde will mobilize for war.

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8 years ago