It is a strange feeling, to discover one's self on the decline. Often, we do not notice the dimming of the day until it is already evening, and by then it is already too late to start trying to rescue what we wanted to do during the sunlight hours, and resign ourselves to the darkening night.

After over eight years of Civ, I find myself in this position. Both Civ and I have grown over this period of time, and we have grown apart. I know my peak is in the past- today, I find myself feeling more like a ghost than a revered artist, estranged from the still-living, stuck in an era years ago- pretending I'm still a celebrated name, when in reality, it has already worn off my tombstone.

Those who I called my artistic peers and rivals have mostly moved on. Those who I call my friends, they have moved on too, and entice me to new shores. Only a few lone threads still tie me to the mast of Civ, but they are no longer worth the heaving of the ocean of malcontent it sails on. That is not to say I am writing them off entirely- I will continue to carry them with me as long as our connections are unfrayed.

This isn't a call to suddenly start celebrating my works and contributions. This is simply an admittance that I will likely never log into the server in a meaningful way again; it is a coming-to-terms of the end of a significant era of my life, and a note for those who still care about me, detailing my course for the future.

So now it is time to leave- my baton lies on the table, ready for the next champion(s) to take it and run in the relay of Civ. I hope my doubts and fears about the future of the genre will be proved wrong in time; I wish for a future where Civ has a prosperous and thriving community, a vibrant and wonderful world, full of art and energy and amazement. In fact, I have never before hoped so much to be wrong. But that is the responsibility of you, the reader of this message, to take and carry forward. And as for myself, I carry forward no regrets- something quite rare for those leaving Civ.

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I leave you with a paraphrased lesson from Seneca in a letter to Serenus:

A wise person... has no reason to fear Fortune, they live as though all things were lent to them and they are bound to return the loan on demand without complaint. They will act in all things carefully and meticulously. And whenever they are ordered to repay their debt, they will not complain to Fortune, but they will say:

'I thank you for what I have possessed and held. I have looked after your property to my great benefit, but at your command I give and yield it with gratitude and good will. If you want me still to have anything of yours, I shall keep it safe; if you wish otherwise, take back what you gifted me in better shape than when you gave it.'

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Take care, and live well.
RektTangle