Armenia

Caucasian Trade

With the marriage of Yervand III to the sister of the newly installed ruler of Caucasian Iberia, your merchants have grown wealthy through access to Iberia's markets, your citizens have seen their lives improve through access to foreign goods, and, most importantly of all, your treasury is overflowing with tax monies extracted from all of this. While this is of course great, your more ambitious advisors have presented you with some ideas to capitalize on your success.

• Option 1. We should capitalize on our newfound influence in Caucasian Iberia. Why merely trade with them when we can use our influence over your brother-in-law to see rich Iberian fields, mines, harbours, and artisans' shops ceded to Armenian owners? Surely we'd become even more wealthy if we controlled the wealth of Iberia at its source!

• Option 2. What's with all this wimpy trade shenanigans? Just send in some troops and take direct control over Iberia, adding its territory directly to our own! [WARNING: May lead to war!]

• Option 3. Trading has served us well so far, and it will continue to serve us still. We shall expand our trade hegemony to one of our other neighbours, and get rich from them too! [Choose a faction that borders you.]

• Option 4. I hear that to the southeast of Caucasian Iberia there is a land known as Caucasian Albania. As everybody knows, Albania is known for its large amount of bunkers and other fortifications. Since we like building castles and forts so much, maybe we could send a delegation to Albania and exchange notes?

Mesopotamia

Miss Perdiccas?

Perdiccas's recent appearances wearing garb modelled after that of the lovely Eurydice, wife of the very strong, intelligent, handsome, and honourable Craterus, has been the talk of Mesopotamia's upper crust for months. Your nobles, courtiers, and burghers aren't quite sure what to make of this unconventional fashion statement by their leader, and you have received many requests for clarification and elaboration from them.

• Option 1. It's because I'm a deific figure, obviously! Bow down and worship me, your god!

• Option 2. Shh! It's part of a super secret plan to infiltrate other regions by studying their fashion by wearing it. Don't tell anyone, or you'll let them know our plan!

• Option 3. It's just really pretty and breathes oh so nicely. Who wouldn't want to wear garb like Eurydice's, if they could afford it?

• Option 4. This is just proof Perdiccas is a madman! He must be removed from power!

Palmyra

The Promised Land

With our recent, questionably legal capture and occupation of the formerly Mesopotamian city of Edessa, our people have noticed something odd about it. The weather near it is much more temperate, crops and plants grow near it with ease, and all in all it seems a much more pleasant, hospitable place than the rest of our territory. Edessa's differences from the rest of your realm have become the topic of conversation among your subjects, and you feel that you should weigh in with your own voice.

• Option 1. Edessa is a paradise! That's why I'm moving there and making it my new capital!

• Option 2. Edessa is a paradise! That's why I'm going to capture more cities like it for my subjects to live in! [WARNING: May lead to war!]

• Option 3. Edessa is a paradise! That's why I'm going to transform our other lands to match the lushness of Edessa!

• Option 4. Edessa is a den of decadence! We are strong men and women of the desert, not wimpy dwellers pf temperate lands! We have no need of Edessa and its decadent fruits!

Babylon

Ways and Means

With our newfound invoice for 500 Gold, we have realized that we need some money. As the regents of the Macedonian empire, we can of course tax our subjects to raise revenue. But how shall we do so?

Section A: The Satrapies

Choose one option from Section A.

• Option 1. We shall institute a percentage tax, where each satrapy must contribute a percentage of its treasury to our coffers. This way each satrapy contributes as much as it's able, without unduly harming the poorer satrapies. [List the percentage of your percentage tax in your actions.]

• Option 2. We shall institute a lump sum tax, where each satrapy must contribute the same amount of gold from its treasury to our coffers. This way successful satrapies aren't penalized for their success, and poorer satrapies are incentivized to work harder to raise revenue. [List the value in PPG of your lump sum tax in your actions.]

• Option 3. We shall use an alternate method to determine how much each satrapy will pay. [Describe this method and state any parameters for it in your actions; note that if this method is arbitrary or impractically complex, there may be penalties.].

• Option 4. We shall not tax our satrapies, for they can best serve our king by spending their money at the local level.

Section B: Alternative Revenue Sources

Choose as many options as you want from Section B.

• Option 1. We shall set up a system of tolls and tariffs along the borders of the empire, and extract money from those who travel to and trade with foreign lands!

• Option 2. We shall set up a system of tolls and tariffs along the borders between the satrapies, and extract money from those who travel to and trade with other satrapies!

• Option 3. We shall use our regal authority to take control of the empire's mints, and have then mint currency that is just slightly smaller or debased, and we shall pocket the difference. [Mutually exclusive with Option 4]

• Option 4. We shall use our regal authority to take control of the empire's mints, and have then mint currency that is so debased that it might as well be made of mud. We'll be filthy rich! [Mutually exclusive with Option 3]

• Option 5. We shall sell titles of nobility, military commissions, sinecures, and other such public offices and state honours!

• Option 6. We shall take hella bribes, and exercise the powers of the state for the benefit of whoever pays us the most!

• Option 7. No. Just no. What even are all these dumb scams? We aren't doing any of this crap, there's no way any of it will end well. [Mutually exclusive with all other options]

Susania

Rivers in the Desert

While the settling of Thalammos was seen by some as a disappointment, not being a Persian Gulf port as was initially planned, some are just happy to see that the settling party didn't become completely lost and settle in the absolute middle of nowhere. The recent construction of a freshwater river has done much to improve the viability of the city and morale of its denizens, but some are suggesting even more radical measures to realize the city's intended glory.

• Option 1. If you can build a river, you can build an ocean. let's dig up some dirt and turn this city into the port town it was always meant to be!

• Option 2. What? That makes no sense. However, the city isn't actually that far from its intended coastal location. Just have the citizens got off their asses and move their houses, farms, and other shit eastwards a bit.

• Option 3. That sounds pretty disruptive. The real way to make Thalammos great isn't to worry about the sea, but to instead double down on its rivers. If its rivers could flood like those of the Tigris and Euphrates, or if they irrigated the soil to not be a barren desert, that would more than make up for the city's landlocked location.

• Option 4. Thalammos shlammos. Don't we have real cities that aren't hopeless failures to worry about instead?

Persia

Simping for Suhar

You've been really pining for Suhar to join you, but they just haven't reciprocated your interest. Your advisors have presented a variety of options for you to consider to bring this matter to a resolution.

• Option 1. Why not take these relationship metaphors all the way? Peucestas Jr. is almost of marriageable age, and a bride from Suhar's ruling class would certainly do plenty to help move things along.

• Option 2. The thing about relationships is that you never want to seem too interested; that makes you look desperate or creepy. Instead, you should act casually uninterested and aloof, and pretend that you don't notice nor care about them. They'll do nothing but think about you, and then you can move in for the catch.

• Option 3. Suhar has insulted our great satrapy for the last time! To arms! [WARNING: May lead to war!]

• Option 4. If they're not interested, they're not interested. I'm sure we can find better things to do than harass them more.

Media

Fake News Media

First you're falsely accused of treason, and then your investigators very falsely accuse the very law-abiding Craterus of poisoning people. What is up with the false accusations in Media?

• Option 1. Clearly we've kept too loose a hand on the media. We must bring all scribes, town criers, bards, and other purveyors of information under state control, so that they only tell the state-approved truth.

• Option 2. Well, that seems a bit extreme. Sure, we have some bad apples, but all we need to do is find and hang those bad apples and we're good to go. Right?

• Option 3. Maybe we can use our people's aptitude for fake news to our advantage... spreading rumours and lies about our enemies could prove quite useful, after all.

• Option 4. What are you talking about? There's no fake news in Media! I actually am a traitor and Craterus actually did poison all of those people! #LockUsUp!

Bactria

Sucks to Suck

nice instability bro

• Option 1. Fuck

• Option 2. Shit

• Option 3. Damn

• Option 4. no u

• Option 5. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Gedrosia

Locked Up

With your satrap locked up in Babylon on suspicion of a crime he, let's be honest, probably did commit, your subjects have come to a realization: your line of succession is awfully short. Less of a line of succession and more like a dot of succession, really. After you, it's just your unmarried sister, and then that's that. No children, no brother-in-law, no children, no other relatives, not even a vizier or a lieutenant to serve as a natural non-familial successor. This is a pretty precarious position to be in, don't you think?

• Option 1. I shall marry and sire a son to succeed me. It is the right, natural, and honourable thing to do.

• Option 2. I am a bachelor at heart. Instead, I shall arrange for my sister to marry, giving me a brother-in-law and nephews who can serve as my successors.

• Option 3. Hey, my sister's a perfectly good heir! I know that she's a woman and we're patriarchal Greeks, and that after she's gone we'd be in the same situation we are now, but I'm sure it's a workable solution.

• Option 4. As a satrap I am an appointed governor of the king, not a hereditary lord of a fief. When I die a capable administrator or general should succeed me, not my own flesh and blood.

Scythia

Tanais Refugee Crisis

During a celebratory party after capturing the city of Tanais, one of your more bleeding-heart advisors brought to your attention the fact that the city, which you presumably plan to sack, is still full of Greek colonists who live in it. If you burn down all of their homes, something will have to be done about them.

• Option 1. Blood for the blood god! Burn these smug Greeks alive in their homes! That'll show them for looking down on us!

• Option 2. Selling them into slavery would be much more profitable. Slaves with Greek education are always in high demand, and should fetch us a hefty sum.

• Option 3. Integrating these people into our clans will bolster our ranks and allow for new skills and perspectives to enter our realm. It's the practical approach.

• Option 4. We are proud warriors, not butchers of children nor a homeless shelter for useless Greek orphans! We shall exile these refugees and let somebody else deal with them.

• Option 5. We could, like, not burn down their homes, and let them keep living in them as our subjects. Just a thought, you know.