Recognizing that the government of Brazil has committed a horrific string of heinous crimes against the Pan-American Union, against their own people, and against the principles of liberty and democracy, including but not limited to:

1. attempting to settle a city within the sovereign borders of the Union,

2. denying control over portions of the American continents to the Union,

3. negligence in defending their settling parties from harm,

4. deliberate military buildup during times of peace,

5. gross mismanagement of their country,

6. ordering one of their own officials and a settling party on a suicidal mission,

7. violating the terms of the Pan-American–Brazilian Treaty of 3625 BC,

8. denying their people free and fair elections,

9. not having any self-respect,

10. and other high crimes and offences too numerous to list;

we, the Senate of the Pan-American Union, hereby declare war upon Brazil, and authorize the President and his War Minister to conduct all offensive military operations necessary to defeat the Brazilian menace.

Oorah!