Greater Imperial Major Civ Events

Western Roman Empire

Our glorious armies have engaged the perfidious Visigoths, and quickly captured Toulouse. However, it turns out that the alleged Visigoth plot against us was actually just the mad ravings of a lone, rogue official, and the Visigoths were not actually betraying us. Oops?

• Option 1: Well, I suppose our initial casus bellum doesn't hold anymore, but we are winning the war. That clearly means that God favours this war. Time for the Imperial reconquest of Iberia, baby! [WARNING: May lead to continued WAR!]

• Option 2: Well, this is awkward. We can't really justify beating up the Visigoths now that we know that they're innocent. But we still have this massive army in the western Mediterranean. Maybe we could finish up our Imperial reconquest of Africa with that army, shall we? [WARNING: May lead to WAR!]

• Option 3: I hear that there's these spooky Lombards coming from the northeast. Maybe we should divert our army to that way, instead?

• Option 4: Hey, if peace is coming, there's no need to keep this expensive-ass army lying around. Instead of starting a brand new war, we could instead save some of our treasury to reinvest into our economy and civil infrastructure.

Eastern Roman Empire

Our people have been in a near-constant state of war with the warmongering Persian menace for several decades now. While smiting the barbarian infidel is all well and good, war means higher taxes, fathers, brothers, and sons dying, sackings and pillagings of border cities, and other things that make the peasants salty. It is doubtful whether we can sustain this war for much longer, before the salty peasants decide they've had enough.

• Option 1: That just means we'll have to win this war quickly and decisively. A snake with no head cannot continue to fight us.

• Option 2: Bah, the peasants can suck it. Send more soldiers into the field!

• Option 3: Ah, I know! Let's have a grand Hippodrome race to make all the people happy and distracted! Then we can continue to fight our war in peace.

• Option 4: Or, you know, we could just stop fighting this war. What are we even standing to gain from it, anyway? [WARNING: May lead to PEACE!]

Sassanid Persian Empire

Our people have been in a near-constant state of war with the warmongering Byzantine menace for several decades now. While smiting the Greek infidel is all well and good, war means higher taxes, fathers, brothers, and sons dying, sackings and pillagings of border cities, and other things that make the peasants salty. It is doubtful whether we can sustain this war for much longer, before the salty peasants decide they've had enough.

• Option 1: That just means we'll have to win this war quickly and decisively. A snake with no head cannot continue to fight us.

• Option 2: Bah, the peasants can suck it. Send more soldiers into the field!

• Option 3: Ah, I know! Let's have a grand royal incest marriage to make all the people happy and distracted! Then we can continue to fight our war in peace.

• Option 4: Or, you know, we could just stop fighting this war. What are we even standing to gain from it, anyway? [WARNING: May lead to PEACE!]

Lesser Imperial Major Civ Events

Suparian Gaul

Our government's totally-not-Imperial palace has unfortunately spontaneously collapsed into dust. Running a nation at war without a place to house all of our officials and bureaucrats and military staff officers isn't exactly optimal. Our fearless leader, Primarch Remus Suparius, must find a new home for himself and his government. But what kind of home will he choose?

• Option 1: A grand citadel, capable of withstanding any siege! We are a nation at war, after all, and our seat of power must be impervious to outside assault.

• Option 2: A grand cathedral, to show our devotion to God against the hordes of heathen and heretic barbarians!

• Option 3: A grand villa, built of the most luxurious and ornate materials! Our plush cushions and hardwood floors will be the envy of the known world!

• Option 4: This whole thing sounds like a massive waste of money and manpower. Our government can surely do its job housed in random shacks and mud-huts, right?

Egypt

Some people have been calling our government dirty freeloaders. Allegedly, according to these slanderers, our government's revenue consists mostly of subsidies from Constantinople, and that we, allegedly, don't really do anything useful enough to warrant those subsidies. Of course, this is all slanderous fake news, but if we don't address it somehow, people of importance may start to actually believe it.

• Option 1: Hey, we contribute a lot to the Empire! Our vast armies of war chariots are on the front lines against the warmongering Persian menace, and against the lesser warmongering Himyarite menace. Both the Ghassanids and the Aksumites, loyal client states of Rome, would have fallen decades ago without our generous support.

• Option 2: Hey, we contribute a lot to the Empire! Our grain shipments are the only thing keeping the citizens of Constantinople from starvation. The Queen of Cities owes its current wealth and glory to us.

• Option 3: Hey, we don't need to justify our trade deals to rando rumourmongers! What deals we negotiate with Constantinople are ours and their business alone, not the business of uninvolved third parties!

• Option 4: Maybe we should actually try to get some gold of our own, instead of relying on others so much? I'm sure we must have some precious metals or gemstones or something buried under all that sand.

Visigoths

The perfidious Romans have cravenly sneak attacked us, and somehow managed to conquer Toulouse. The Romans apparently used the mad ravings of a rogue official, acting without orders nor authorization, to justify their war of aggression against us.

• Option 1: Well, if it's war they want, it's war they'll get! To arms! [May lead to continued WAR.]

• Option 2: Maybe we should do something about these rogue diplomats we apparently have. We don't need any more surprise wars started by people scheming around in our name.

• Option 3: Wait, they conquered Toulouse? We have become complacent, if our capital city has fallen so easily. We must re-learn the ways of warfare, so that we don't get so humiliatingly trounced again.

• Option 4: Hey, if peace if coming, there's no need to keep our expensive-ass army lying around. Instead of just keeping it to flex on our weaker neighbours or whatever, we could instead disband it and save some of our treasury to reinvest into our economy and civil infrastructure.

Barbarian Major Civ Events

Ostrogoths

We have finally smote the dumb Gepids into oblivion! Yay!

• Option 1: Looks like it's time for a celebration PAR-TAY!

• Option 2: Well, now that we're at peace, I suppose we can fire the army and save some cold, hard cash.

• Option 3: We can't be too presumptuous. We must have our forces sweep every nook, cranny, valley, and treetop for any surviving insurgents.

• Option 4: Forget any Gepid stragglers, our spies have reported a massive Lombard invasion army coming! We must prepare to defend ourselves against their inevitable invasion of our lands.

Vandals

We have a fuckton of boats. What should we do with our boats?

• Option 1: Naval invasions are lots of fun and always work. Let's go Vandalize some scrubs! [Pick a faction with a coast that you can reach from your coastline.] [WARNING: May lead to WAR!]

• Option 2: We should send a grand expedition to the fabled potato-lands to the far west, and bring home some more potatoes! I'm sure with our dozens and dozens of vessels, at least one will survive the journey!

• Option 3: The age of navies is over. Land wars are the future. Chop all of our boats up and build catapults, chariots, and spears out of them.

• Option 4: Maybe we should make like the Sea Peoples and raid some coasts? The age of piracy is upon us!

Franks

Our campaign against the British has been a resounding success. We have swiftly taken all of their cities, and even captured their leader, this "Justinian", alive. However, the Britons are still a proud and independent people, and the common folk still may not bend the knee willingly.

• Option 1: Bah, peasants are peasants everywhere. We have more important things to worry about than some minor culture clashes, like the invading army of Suparian Gaul.

• Option 2: The Britons must be crushed under our despotic bootheel, and their cultural identity erased and replaced with pure Frankishness.

• Option 3: The Britons will be satisfied if they are allowed some degree of respect and self-governance. Local British lords and chieftains will be allowed to retain their power and prestige, as long as they keep their own people in line.

• Option 4: We must assimilate the Britons into the Franks, and forge a new, unified Franco-Briton cultural identity for our great nation!

Lombards

The age of the Romans, the Goths, the Franks, and the rest of them is over! The age of the Lombards has begun!

• Option 1: We must hold a great blot to celebrate our ascendance! Praise whatever god or set of gods it is that we worship!

• Option 2: All of the extant European powers apparently live in these "cities", instead of wandering nomadically like our forefathers did. If we are to compete with them on equal footing, we must found cities of our own.

• Option 3: Why found cities when we can conquer them? Arm everyone, from the younglings to the elderly, and even the women and the infirm! Our glorious human wave of warriors will crush all who oppose us!

• Option 4: Some rumours about a "Lombard mafia" have been heard from the more skittish or superstitious. However, there definitely is no Lombard mafia, and the suspicious deaths of anyone who says otherwise are definitely just horrible coincidences.

Minor Civ Events

Note: Minor Civs which qualify for more than one event (e.g. by being on the cusp of two listed territories, or by being both in a listed territory and a foederati) must choose only one to select their option from, and indicate that choice in the events section of their actions doc.

British Isles and Scandinavian Minor Civs

The Franks and Visigoths are invading our ancestral homeland.

• Option 1: I, for one, welcome our new continental Germanic overlords.

• Option 2: We will never give up, never surrender! Better to die a freeman than live a slave!

• Option 3: I'm pretty sure the Franks and Visigoths are too distracted by events on the continent to finish annexing us. We don't have to worry about them at all.

Germanic Minor Civs

We were great conquerors once, but now it looks like the Romans are making gains and pushing us out.

• Option 1: I, for one, welcome our new Roman overlords.

• Option 2: Time to start a-conquering again! Germania Invicta! [WARNING: May lead to WAR!]

• Option 3: I'm pretty sure the whole Lombard thing has got everyone distracted. We should be safe for the moment, as long as the Lombards don't decide to annihilate us.

Arabian and African Minor Civs

The Arab Spring was pretty mediocre, with the whateverites quickly falling the the Ghassanids, and the otherwhateverites stalemating against Aksum.

• Option 1: Well, that's a relief. We can continue to peacefully blob out now that we don't have those upstarts to worry about.

• Option 2: Well, that's a relief. Our military might is now freed up to smite our enemies, whoever they are. [Pick at least one faction that your troops can reasonably reach; this can include the surviving Arabian upstart faction.] [WARNING: May lead to WAR!]

• Option 3: Aww, that's a shame. I wanted some new Arab friends to play with.

Foederati Minor Civs

As part of something greater than ourselves, we are the most important of the minor factions. How shall we continue our rise in importance?

• Option 1: By overthrowing our shithead overlords, of course! [WARNING: May lead to WAR!]

• Option 2: By making fat stacks and blobbing out, of course!

• Option 3: By smiting the enemies of our overlords, of course! [WARNING: May lead to WAR!]