Imperator Caesar Flavius Valerius Zeno Tarasis Kodisa Rousombladadiotes Pius Felix Invictus Augustus, lay dying in his secret underground command bunker. As his sickly body oozed and boiled, he began composing a document he had expected to not need until a few more years. He wasn’t that old yet, and son and heir was but a boy, yet plagues did not discriminate between peasants and Emperors. Not did the Lord God, whom Zeno would surely be meeting soon. He just hoped that his crusades against the Infidel were enough to outweigh his shady dealings with the Vandals, Gepids, and others.

After a solid hour or so of writing, he picked up his final Imperial document, and re-read it one last time for errors:

Herein is the last will and testament of I, Imperator Caesar Flavius Valerius Zeno Tarasis Kodisa Rousombladadiotes Pius Felix Invictus Augustus.

I name my eldest son and heir, loyal servant of God and of the Roman people, Nobilissimus Caesar Flavius Valerius Leo Secundus, as Imperator and Augustus, coregnant with me until my demise, and sole sovereign ruler of the Romans afterward. In the event that this will is executed before my son comes of age, I name my loyal servant and brilliant general, Patricius Roranicus Pondicus, as Praeses Imperatoria Tutelam Concilio and Magister Militum Praesentalis, in addition to his other offices, and entrust in him the governance and defence of my son’s Empire, until the day that he comes of age.

Furthermore, I denounce and expose the vile usurper Basilicus for what he is: a feeble-minded puppet of his wife, a Persian whore; a failed general who could not achieve high office by honourable and legitimate means, as he had no real skill not courage to speak of; a man lacking any Imperial blood, with no claim to the throne; and an unrepentant traitor who conspired with barbaric Vandals, godless Persians, and with the disgraced Majorian and faithless Hilarius of the failing Western Roman state to destroy our great people and Empire. He is not your Emperor, nor is he anyone’s Emperor. He is a puppet, an usurper, a tyrant, a snake, and a loser.

I declare Basilicus, Estera, and all of their kinsmen, dynasts, associates, and co-conspirators traitors to Rome; enemies of the people and of the state. In addition, in my capacity as God’s Vicegerent on Earth, they are hereby excommunicated, anathematized, and interdicted. The late false Patriarch Lunaris and the Antipope Hilarius are hereby too declared excommunicated, anathematized, and interdicted, as well as deposed from their episcopates, laicized, and branded apostates, schismatics, and heretics. All of their acts in office are hereby declared null and void.

Praise be to the Lord Christ eternal, and through his grace, may those who have committed grave acts against God and against Rome be swiftly brought to justice, and may those who have been harmed by the actions of the usurpers, traitors, and heretics have their harms undone, and may those who have stayed loyal and faithful to You and to Rome be forever blessed.

Roma Invicta!

After assuring himself that he hadn’t made any embarrassing grammatical or spelling mistakes on his last message to the world, Zeno folded up his last will and testament, and, with a cough, called for one of the agentes in rebus who were stationed in his secret underground command bunker. He ordered the agente to ensure that the paper was kept safe from destruction, and that it be copied far and wide by loyal scribes and monks, and its contents be made known to all in the known world.

And with that, Zeno breathed his last breath, and most definitely ascended into Heaven.

Roma Invicta!