Finland

Our glorious capital of Helsinki is surrounded by hellish swamps! Our leading agricultural and industrial advisors have informed us that this is bad, since swamps are shit clay.

1. Good thing that we aren't set to One-City Challenge, then. Let's just settle some more cities away from the dirty swamps.

2. I suppose we'd best develop our agriculture and industry to deal with these swamps.

3. Drain the Swamp!

Geats

Our treasurers have informed us that our treasury is empty. rip us

1. no rip u

2. A flamboyant man in green tights approaches your court, and shoots your hat right off of your head with an arrow. He proposes to you that you follow his example, and take from the rich and give to the poor.

3. This man is clearly the thief responsible for our treasury being empty! Plus he just tried to no scope my head! GUARDS!

Lithuania

We are a people blessed by the gods! Just look at all our Faith and meme tree shrines and shit.

1. We shall journey to the promised lands, as the prophecies foretell.

2. We shall establish great monasteries of religious scholars, to learn the secrets of the heavens.

3. DEUS VULT!

Norway

Our peons, in their infinite idiocy, have settled our second city near the northern mountains, instead of quite literally anywhere else.

1. YOU'RE FIRED!

2. Eh, let's not dismantle our entire government over regular incompetence. I suppose we'll just need to learn how to deal with shitty mountainous cities.

3. Or we could just settle more cities. Our peons can't place all of them in shitty spots, right?

Novgorod

Our neighbours are both sketchy af.

1. Well, we can be sketchier af! Mwahahahaha!

2. At least one of them is prolly up to something shady, and we should prepare to deal with whatever it is in force.

3. Eh, who cares about those scrubs; we have an empire to manage.

Poland

Something something stale Polish civil war memes

1. We need a massive army to put down the inevitable rebel scum!

2. If we have a huge empire, any individual rebel won't be able to revolt with a large chunk of it. Then we can just crush those rebels the old fashioned way.

3. This rebel nonsense is fake news! Sad! Poland is tremendously stable! Big league stability!

Schleswig-Holstein

We're the richest of them all, except for that cheating 'Murica observer civ. smh mod abuse ree

1. Time for some R&D subsidies.

2. Time to max out the military budget.

3. Time for some yuuuge tax cuts, baby!