People still tell me to "keep my head up, it'll get better". Even doctors tell me that I'm going to be able to go back to life without pain. But nothings working, I'm not getting better at all, I'm stuck. And I can't stop thinking of all the things and all the time I've lost. It started when I was 15, now I'm 17 and everything's the same.

I just wish that I didn't have hope left. I wish that I could stop thinking that it's going to get better, because every day I'm let down. I'm so tired. On the other hand, thinking that my whole life is gonna be like this, that I just had the bad luck of having a shitty body, saddens and angers me so much. There's really no way for me to be okay.