I was on an opioid for 20 years and my rheumatologist said they are no longer in the business of prescribing opioids. He left me with no advice and no tapper off plan, and just said to go to a pain management place. I had to push to get the last bottle, because the facility is known for screwing up orders and that is how I got told this last week.

First and foremost I am not drug seeking. With Ulcerative Colitis (UC) with associative arthritis, Ankylosing Spondylitis, migraines, Fibromyalgia, etc…due to just the UC many medications mess me up because they cause bleeding in the GI and excite the nerve pain with Fibro. Can’t touch any psych drugs either, they nearly killed me.

What should I say and not say? I am afraid of their perception, because in the past I was mistreated by doctors and nurses. They thought I was a hypochondriac. In fact 20 years ago, they were handing out opioids like candy. Then recently politicians are out to make a name for themselves and I am in this situation.

The withdrawal has been hell, because I went from 2-3 pills a say down to 1 anticipating having to get off. I have to rely on a walker and I am only in my early 40s.

I just don’t want to mess this up. Worst case I am hoping for help just to tapper off and counter act side effects. I just don’t know what to say. I have tried so many things in the past, but UC makes most medications impossible for me to take. Psych meds cause more pain and/or make me suicidal thinking. I found out it was serotonin syndrome.

I am at a loss and fear losing my job and just not being able to bear with the pain from progession of my illness and having no actual pain relief. Any advice on how to deal with these places. Even if they get me off safely, I would be okay for a while.

I filled out my ADR/will just in case and when I see my pcp next, I am getting him to sign the DNR. I don’t want to be kept alive in pain if things get worse in life.