Hi. I'm a non binary person, 24 years old living in west coast Canada. I just wanted to vent somewhere about some of the struggles I've been having.

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About 2 years ago, it seemed to be something small. some wrist pain now and then. Maybe I was just on my phone too much, or computer.

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But now, in 2024, I'm genuinely terrified.

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Firstly, I experience pain everywhere. My neck especially has the most intense pain, with this scratching, crackling sound I hear from inside my neck constantly, especially when I take my nearly daily walks. It hurts my neck to lay down, to sit, to basically do anything really. I feel zapping pains inside my body, especially arms and hands, and sometimes intense enough that I twitch. This is especially noticeable when I try to sleep, and get jolted awake as I'm about to pass out. I feel a tightness in my face, and my vision has both black (or brown in lit environments) floaters, and like these gel structures in my vision that increase noticeably at least weekly by this point with my vision also generally just becoming blurrier, and more sensitive to light nearly daily, plus the sharp eye pain that pops in every so often. Dry skin, dry mouth with peeling skin inside my mouth, especially when waking up, despite drinking plenty of water and taking fish oils. A tightness, soreness in my joints, especially neck area. But I swear, it feels like my body is just sore and stiff everywhere no matter what. Plus my joints constantly cracking, and popping, and getting worse over time to the point that it often hurts when they pop, and they pop when I stand up often, or do many other random movements. There's the dizziness sometimes, the stomach issues sometimes , the general feeling of sickliness, and more. Oh hell, the brain fog too!

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At this point, symptoms are worsening every single day, and tests still come back blank, with the exception of one shoulders and up MRI that showed a herniated disc in the C4/C5 area. A MILDLY herniated disc, and all doctors I've seen don't believe my symptoms are originating from that, especially my visual symptoms. This is with the few bits of testing I have done. It is genuinely so terrifying. Just a year ago, I felt so much more functional, but now? I'm a shell of myself, and doctors are now so dismissive of me. Telling me I'm wasting their time, and that it is all in my head (even though my vision prescription is worsening, notably astigmatism).

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I've tested negative for: thyroid issues, lupus, arthritis, autoimmune conditions, and any common deficiencies.

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My symptoms are worsening daily now, and doctors are so dismissive whenever I see any. I wake up with new symptoms, or new intensity of symptoms daily. It absolutely feels like I've completely lost control of my life, and I don't know what the hell to do anymore. The pain is so overbearing, it is driving me to consider the concept of 'not exiting' anymore as I've lost the ability to enjoy almost every hobby I used to do. Ahh!

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I just wanted to vent somewhere, to be heard. This post was rushed, but getting energy to do this kind of thing is difficult, so please excuse the awkward and rushed wording. I just wanted to express some feelings somewhere, you know? . I don't know what will happen next. Symptoms are spiraling out of control exponentially now. I'm on specialist waitlists, and unfortunately, I don't have any clue when I will see any of them.

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Wish me luck, I guess. I just need a hug honestly.

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I do have one doctor putting me through more intensive testing now, but hopefully they finally show something. This process is so slow.

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No one deserves to suffer like this!