I did a treatment in Dec 2020 and it lowered all of my WBC counts. They have been coming up slowly since then. I thought I was finally in the clear because my lymphs just eeked into the very bottom of normal this month. I saw a new neuro in July who ordered cd4 counts monthly and wouldn't you know it-- my counts are about 185. I had to restart the antiviral until I'm over 200 ("I anticipate a couple more months" --my neuro) and I'm just kinda mopey about it.

I've been dating a little and I met some folks that I really like. I've been waiting for my lymph count to come up or at least, get pretty close to normal so that we can have sex (after STI talks and testing and all of that of course!). Well, since I thought I was close enough I finally went through with it. Had a great time, felt really happy to finally be doing this very normal adult thing. And then I got a yeast infection. Ugh. Ok, not the end of the world and as folks with vaginas can tell you, it just happens sometimes. At that point I didn't know about the cd4 counts so I treated things, everything was fine and I made another date. Had sex, everything is great... except ANOTHER yeast infection. Ok, I'm putting two and two together here- low counts, infections each time I have sex-- I made a gyno appt.

He prescribes me prophylactic antifungals. Folks, the prescription literally says: "take one day before sexual intercourse." So that was a super fun pharmacist consult! I have to take a pill before I go on a date if I want to have sex and not get a yeast infection. fml. In addition to covid variants making everything lock down again, I'm just so done with this! I know folks have it worse and I am lucky in the sense that my counts will recover and this will not be permanent but it's really starting to wear on me, all the little ways it limits you or changes your body.

And what's really shitting in my cheerios is that in addition to the recurring yeast infections and the dr's comment that I'll be dealing with this "for awhile" I also had a cyst on my labia and I agreed to him removing it since I was there. Well, folks, that was an hour of hearing them say things like "pass me the scissors" while staring intensely at my spread open genitalia and snipping out a cyst from my labia, piece by piece. I now have stitches and one very purple, swollen vulva. I am using a peri bottle to pee and the incision is still oozing blood 3 days later. Lastly, since my counts are low and I have a yeast infection I'm not hopeful things will heal well. And since my labia is literally currently a blackish-purple hematoma I will not be having sex for awhile! So, cockblocked by my body again. Looking at my junk in the mirror after I got home was the final damn straw. I'm ready for all of this to even out. I'm ready to have some damn sex! lol But it seems like every time I think something is headed in the right direction another problem pops up. So tired of it. And, my poor, poor vagina! It's a war zone down there. :(