When my bipolar is acting up and im in a high, i get REALLY into certain things. For example, this time it was freshwater aquariums. So i decided to start up a betta sorority because i really thought this wasnt one of my fads i get while in a high. Welp. My pain has gotten really bad for the past couple of days which made me go into a low. So of course i almost completely forget to feed my fish. I also know i need to clean the gravel but i cant seem to make myself do it. Which is the same thing that happens when i need to clean the cat litter. I hate this about myself. I really thought i was genuinely gonna be able to take care of my fish even in a low... but at this point in time, its really hard. But im making myself do it even though my pain meds arent helping me much. I took on a responsibility so i need to put myself aside and take care of these creatures. Plus when i actually get on the habit of taking care of them, ill actually have something fun to do to distract myself from the pain. But starting that is so damn hard. Sorry for the rant. I just cant admit this to my family because theyll judge me cause fishkeeping is expensive and we dont have much money rn. Ugh. Thank you for reading all this tho 🥺💚 i appreciate it