I’m 23 about to be 24, and have had 23 surgeries. I’m currently with a j tube due to Severe gastroparesis colonic dysmotility. I haven’t had food in two years, can’t work, and can only take classes for college online and it’s taking forever to finish because my current college is not considered an online school and only has a few online classes. I need help doing everything, I can’t even take a shower without assistance ( because of my other issues), I’m constantly in pain and nausea, but I feel so much shame. I feel like such a failure and burden and I don’t know why I just keep feeling like I’m a loser all the time, it makes me want to cry. I wish I could work, finish college as soon as possible, and be a productive member of society, but I feel like I’ve just failed at life so much. Has anyone else felt like this? I apologize for complaining so much