We have been married for 33 years, going on 34 this November. I’m 58 and my wife is 55. We are both dealing with our own chronic illnesses. I have out-of-control epilepsy, which is gradually improving for reasons we don't fully understand. My wife has arthritis and osteoarthritis, and the risk of fractures is very real for her. This has affected our intimacy.

Last night, we had a good time, but things are changing, and it’s not like it used to be. She encouraged me to use toys, as she wishes she could do more. I don’t mind, but I feel weird using a latex toy now that she can’t participate like before. It's hard for me to just do it without her touch and companionship. The physical touch isn't necessary, but the companionship is essential for me. She tries, but I feel she’s doing it more to please me than for her own enjoyment.