I have already posted similar topic on disability and this subreddit a lot, and I just can't get out of it and gonna put it for last time. I am already talking with my therapist abt this issue, and taking a bunch of medicine. I am getting better and started to think less, but it's so sticky so as hard as I try to get rid of, it tried to get me in different way. I was totally fine 12 years ago, then I made all the illusion, mistake, fault, stupid things over and over, till my health declined to up to this point.

I lost my whole 12 years. I am still sick of course. I never have had proper 9 to 6 work for 12 years and still can't. I am just declining. that's still how I feel. and I rarely remember those years with severe brain fog, now is better with it by taking medication pills though. Yet it's too easy to get again whenever I focus and think about sth serious. I have to be silly all the way not to have strained neck.

Thx for reading, it's my long story short, plz don't ask me why, and what I wanted to get advice or your experience at last is

How do you cope with your regret when your illness came from your own fault and your own mistake

I don't mean that every illness are acquired, or of course most of acquired illness didn't come from one's fault or mistake. However, some might think or know that there's cause from yourselves just like me particularily for their cases. I am only asking this for them. if it bothers plz skip it.