I usually go to mass on Saturday night (pre meditated mass? preempted mass? Premature... mass?), but due to work, had to do a 13 hour shift on a Saturday. Work wasn't finished so I had to go in on Sunday. Planned on going to early morning mass and Told my boss I'll be a little late. He agrees and I eat a quick dinner (very spicy Shin Ramyun instant noodles, this will be relevant later). Next day wake up early, get ready, and commute to Church. I was minding my own business in the train when I break into a cold sweat. Sudden horrible stomach cramps! I get off the next station and speed walk to the public restroom to unload a horrible torrent of red hot, angry diarrhea. The birthing lasts 45 minutes and I miss the early morning mass. Next mass is in 2 hours and I promised the boss I'd come in, so I cut my losses and figure I'll finish early. NOOOOOPE, 14 hours of happy-happy fun times, no lunch and my ass smells...

Sorry mom.