Hey everyone.

I have had an- interesting- relationship with God for the past few years.

I used to believe he was there, I’d pray, talk to him, read verses and just thank him every night. Now I’ve lost him. And I need help finding him.

I know God loves everyone but I’ve done so much messed up stuff, like lying, cheating, lusting, you name it. I’ve done it.

I’m 21. And 4 years ago my Grandmother passed away, which made me start to slip away from him. Then the next couple of years, my sisters died. And then I really stopped asking him for help and talking to him.

Partially for the whole summer this year I did “reconnect” with God and Christ for maybe 2 months. And my life was—- better. I won’t lie. I was happier, more full of energy. I bought a Bible and it was just great. Then I started losing him again and my life is changed.

I am not seeking god as a fix all scenario I don’t want him to just “be there”. I want to have a relationship. And it’s not just because my life was better when he was in it. It’s because I need help. I want to be a good person I just want to be my old, young Christian self again.

Please… if anyone has any tips or suggestions I’d appreciate it!