I’m really struggling right now. Every time life gets overwhelming, I run to alcohol, sex, partying, anything to numb the pain even if it’s just for a moment. But the relief never lasts, and I’m left feeling emptier than before.

I’ve tried to abstain, to just pray and wait for it to pass, but it’s like the hurt doesn’t let up. It feels like no matter how hard I try, I keep falling back into the same cycle. I hate who I’m becoming. It’s like my soul is covered in dirt, and every time I give in, I’m sinking deeper into something I don’t know how to escape from.

I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to keep choosing the things that break me over the One who can heal me. I want to feel clean again, to feel whole, but I don’t know how to get there. How do I stop running to sin and start running to God instead?