hello everyone!

i was born to two parents who grew up catholic but decided to be atheists. i have always questioned my beliefs because i am autistic and have a hard time believing things that i dont have absolute concrete proof of (i mean this with absolutely no disrespect! i am happy that you all have faith, im just explaining my thought process).

however, in my lowest moments, i find myself thinking of god and wondering if he looks to me. i always yearn for a male presence in my life (absent father, if that has anything to do with it), im largely misguided in life and dont know how to go about trying to figure out of im christian. im so overwhelmed trying to figure everything out. anything helps.

basically, how do i know?