I’m in a bad place right now. I don’t have hope. I have become so sensitive to everything that little things upset me. I’ve been without a church home for sometime now and find it hard to look. Depression, anger and frustration are taking over my life. I feel like my prayers for help and release go no where. I know suicide is not the answer but I’m tired of trying and pretending like things will get better for me when I’m watching them get worse. I don’t want to leave the house unless it’s to see a friend. But my friends are either busy or gone. I don’t have a lot of them.

Im not young I’m 39 going on 40 in July. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am on meds. I have a therapist and have battled this since I was 16….. Sometimes all I want is to stay in my room and not think. Unfortunately I have fallen into bad habits due to the loneliness.

Maybe I’ve made too many ignorant and or arrogant mistakes. I don’t know. All I know is I’m mad/depressed and I want to give up almost ever day. The negative thoughts and worries don’t seem to end.

Maybe if you pray something good will happened. I don’t know. I know I’m desperate and not well. I don’t want to take much more.