Thank you for the post, this is a good dialog for this group. I know growing up in the Catholic Church and School, the emphasis on sexual abstinence. Being the only girl with 5 brothers, I quickly noted the double standard that was in place in how boys were raised and girls were raised. What girls were taught in Sex Ed (which was minimal) and what boys were taught (which was almost comical).

We raised our kids with an honest and open dialog. We encouraged sexual abstinence, but were also realistic. We didn't pawn the responsibility for explaining sex to the schools, we took control over that dialog. We made it clear the risks of pregnancies, the emotional toll it can take, and what a STD was and how to prevent contracting one.

One other thing we did was we never let them know about our "lifestyle choice". Every Friday was family night and every Saturday night was Mom and Dad's date night.

Thank you for sharing. Shame is a powerful emotion. It's sad that as children we were all bombarded with sex selling everything yet we were taught that sex was bad. I don't want to confuse this with saving yourself for marriage which can be a positive thing in some cases. I saved myself for marriage as a good Catholic girl, but I did EVERYTHING else, SHORT of intercourse. I did a LOT of swallowing. Perhaps its why I enjoy performing oral on both men and women. And nothing pleases me more (then like your wife) to bring someone to orgasm.

Sex is a gift!

Thank you for sharing.

This is a common story. Thank you for telling it. Others will appreciate it and relate. We have / I have personally had this happen to me as well. Same scenario. This is why we tend to gravitate to the party scene. We still have regulars that we play with but the party atmosphere tends to keep things in check.

There is an important life lesson in this as it pertains to sex and relationships. You have to put an effort into making them fresh. Getting together once a month for a nookie session in another couple's hot tub gets old and boring after the 10th time or so. Just like sex in the bedroom can get boring and sometimes needs to be spiced up from time to time with something new. New can be a lot of things, including a new place to play together. New outfits. New toys. Something to change it up a bit.

Talk to your wife. Don't give up on this. Think of all of the great erotic times you had and remember that it can happen again. But there is one issue to uncover and that is the concept of an "emotional breakup". This is where having the mindset that this is Recreational Sex, for the pure pleasure of it is important. This doesn't mean you don't have firm friendships, that is can be very important. It does mean that you have to keep those friendships in perspective.

I love going to Church and the social fabric that a Church provides. But I have also come to realize that a Church is nothing more than a building. You can go to Church on TV, you can go to Church online, or you can go to the Church down the street from your home. Too often I hear people say, "I disagree with the Church doctrine, therefore I just won't go to Church". This is sad. I understand why, but Church like everything else in life is full of compromises.

I grew up Catholic, but left the religion when I got a divorce. I ended up joining a Lutheran Church as the worship format is very similar. Confirmation (for our kids) was very similar. And it's a great "Family Centric" denomination. I know I would likely be asked to leave the Church if I was outed, but that's ok.

In an ideal world, there would be a Church that would be supportive of our lifestyle choices. Where doctrine was based on the teachings of Christ, His Great Commandment, His Great Commission, and the many parables he told providing us with spiritual life lessons.

And remember, a Church starts when two people decide that they want to worship together and decide upon what worship means to them.

Merry Christmas!