After reading LV-Vixens last post I did some heavy contemplating. Her post had some spot on points, one I would like to expand on as a Christian male. As an older Christian male I have seen what I want to talk about much to often. And I think most women will relate and understand, sadly most men even Christian men especially Christian men in the LS do not. LV-Vixen pointed something out at the end of her post that is so powerful yet so easy to over look: " I feel safe with him, he earned this. " Men: This is SOOO important! In your everyday life as well as in the LS. Men: Does your wife or partner feel safe with you? I can tell you from experience and I'm sure most women will agree, if she doesn't feel totally safe with you she will never fully open up to you. Many years ago I over heard a Christian woman who had cheated on her husband say; I willingly cheated with the AP because he made me feel SAFE, my husband didn't. That blew me away. So I thought on that, prayed on that, studied the Word and prayed some more. I talked to Christian men and women and surprisingly, the men had almost nothing to say while the women.....Quite a lot! I found that most, not all but most Christian men have no idea what Our Heavenly Father expects or how He expects men to relate to their wives or partners in this area. Most Christian men take the Wilber Milquetoast or turn the other cheek attitude protecting or standing up for their wives. Is it any wonder many Christian women don't feel safe? I don't want this to be to long so I'll cut this short. Men: God has given you the responsibility to protect your wife in any and every situation....No matter what! As a man and a husband you need to put her FIRST...Above everything and everyone else....No matter what! Men: You need to be willing to lay down your life for your wife if need be.....No matter what! Obviously you need to love and cherish her above everything and everyone else. As a side note: Does she really...REALLY know you love her with all your heart? Does she hear it from you multiple times a day? She knows I love her, I don't need to tell her everyday...Just doesn't cut it men! She needs to feel emotionally safe as well as physically safe in her relationship with you. If you really love something or someone you protect it or them at every level. On a personal level in my relationship with my Beautiful Love I am very aware of everything and everyone around us in how they relate to her. First: Her physical safety. Most importantly she KNOWS if I'm around no one is going to hurt her. I am a Christian yes but if someone trys to hurt her I will throw down right there if need be and I will put my life on the line for her. Second: I don't allow ANYONE to disrespect her, even her family. I respect my elders, especially as a Christian man I do respect my elders and her parents. But something disrespectful was said onetime some years ago to my Love by one of them and the first thought was don't say anything, be respectful but then I thought; How would my Love think of me as her Protector and husband? So I quickly took care of that, respectfully yet forcefully and it has never happened again from anyone in the whole extended family. The word quickly went around the family that I don't put up with that. The same thing happened once in our larger circle of friends and hasn't happened since. I'm not bragging, it's just what we need to do as men for our wives. Can she do that herself; ABSOLUTELY she can!!! She's only barely 5' tall and petite but she is a little ball of fire! I could stand back and let her but I really see that as my responsibility as her Protector and she loves it. One other segment of this subject is protecting her heart. Men; Have you ever thought of that? Do you protect her heart to the utmost? I NEVER put myself in a position that would cause her to doubt my love or my fidelity and commitment to her.....EVER! All these things and obviously more lead to trust which leads to your wife feeling safe. And men I can tell you if she has full trust in you and feels totally safe with you she will be MUCH more open to entering the LS with you, you won't have to twist her arm or try to convince her. Hope this helps.