This is often overblown and misrepresented. I am a female, I enjoy porn... but not all porn. I come from a Catholic background, went to Catholic school, go to Church regularly and engage in recreational sex with like minded couples. I will come back to this near the end of this post...

Porn Addiction is NOT a thing. Of course, that being said, anything can be considered an addiction or a negative behavior when you cannot stop this behavior even if you want to. When something interferes with work, relationships, and other parts of daily life then it's a problem and you should seek help.

Porn Addiction

According to the American Psychological Association, Porn Addiction is NOT a "true addiction". Some social, cultural, and religious values lead some to view pornography habits as addictive. But unless watching porn disrupts your daily life, or causes you to take risks you should not take, or becomes a dark obsession for you, watching porn can be a form of education. Something that can amp up your sexual desires (in a positive way for your mate), and can support an active and positive fantasy collection for you.

PornHub reported in 2019 (pre COVID, it went way up during COVID), that it had 42 billion visits that year. That is 115 million visits per day. If porn was an addiction, then society would be in in crisis.

There is research into PPU (Problematic Pornography Use) and there was evidence that watching porn causes the same "brain activity" as seen in drug or alcohol addiction. The same brain circuits associated with reward, motivation, and memory get fired up in those watching porn. I would also assume that this is the same case as watching other couples in a group room or orgy. (Which I find 10 times more sexually stimulating than watching porn on my bedroom TV).

While I have read a lot on this topic (all things sexual interest me), I have settled on one key thing that I focus on when I hear people talk about their porn behaviors. (Note: There are many bullets in most of the lists addressing this topic, so my picking one is completely subjective on my part.) So my one key thing is if porn seems to make you less interested in social encounters or creates distance in your most important relationships, then the RED FLAG goes up.

Now the ending...

Porn is a LOT of things on a lot of topics. Some of it is horribly degrading. Sexual is a magical thing, a gift from God and you can misuse it. There are sexual behaviors where you can hurt someone, both physically and mentally.

So the porn I enjoy ranges from soft-porn fiction, to porn-adventures! Group sex, fantasy porn, and videos where sex is shown in a positive, artsy, equitable, and sharing light. I don't like abusive porn, slapping, degrading (either sex), or disgusting (no peeing on this girl - it will never happen).

Recreational Sex should always be mutually enjoyable for everyone involved. As Christians, Recreational Sex can be a very slippery slope and when I make this statement... "Apply your Christian Values to Recreational Sex", it garners a lot of slings and arrows and is often misunderstood. So I leave a very simple measurement; treat others sexually as you would want to be treated, put their sexual fulfilment ahead of your own, be kind, be tender, be wise and never selfish.

LV-Vixen

POST #2

So I address the porn issue. But I didn't address the relationship issue or your fantasy.

I too fantasied about penis size and shape and how it would feel. I never discussed it with my husband. But when we would travel and decided to do something sexy in another city, I would hint that it sure would be fun to go to Adam & Eve or Condom Sense and see what sex toys were all about.

Generally all I had to do is hint about trying a dildo out and he would be on the hunt. He would ask me to pick, I would always... sweetly... say, "no I couldn't - you do it please". Before long, I had a nice drawer of different shapes and sizes.

Later on in life, once we started swinging and having Recreational Sex, I discovered something. In real life, I could not handle those massive monster cocks. I was too small framed and vaginas don't expand enough in some situations. I would get sore quick and did not enjoy having my cervix pounded up into my chest cavity. There is no way something the size of my forearm is going to feel comfortable!

Now you will here posts that say, "you have to tell him", "just communicate", "be upfront about it with your fiancé'".

You are 25. You have been together for 5 years. How many partners could either of you have had, now much real sexual exploration have you done. Your twenties are your decade of exploration. So explore! Explore together! Explore the ideas!

Instead of, "gee honey, I like watching porn when you are not around and I fantasize about what a penis might feel like"...

Try...

I love sex with you, I want to explore sex with you, how can we explore together?

You might find he fantasizes about watching soft porn with you and the occasional sex toy too...

As for me, we are watching Monday Night Football in bed... when there is a timeout we hit the sixty-nine. When the Vikings Score, he gets a BJ until the kick-off. When the Eagles score, he goes down on me until the kick-off.