I created my own doctrinal belief system, that is true. As I think everyone must choose to do. I grew up Catholic and when that doctrine stopped providing me the clarity in what it meant to be a Christian, I started an exploration of new ideas which is what lead me to wear I am today.

Again, I disagree with you on both context and content. It's way to easy to dismiss someone's beliefs when they are different from your own by simply throwing our the argument that you view of the world (this being me as you described it) are blinded in the dogma of religion.

While I spent a lot of time, years in fact, reading, studying and gathering opinions worth exploring before I arrived at my theory of Christian, which has become a personal doctrine for me, I don't leave out the possibility that I may change my mind again.

While you may choose to "share the dust of me from your sandals", an always interesting quote to be interpreted in Matthew. An interesting choice. Also interesting is the variances in translation which can change the subtle context of your quote. In Matthew you are implying what I have to say as not being worthy of you. In Mark it is a dismissal and focused around what you have to say as not being welcome. In Acts it is a vehicle of protest.

Christ had six ways of dealing with this;

• By asking questions
• By sharing parables (my personal favorite), sharing analogies or maxims
• Giving strong words of either condemnation or affirmation
• Quoting scriptures (and Jewish doctrine)
• Withdrawing from accusers
• AND by keeping silent

I rewrote this twice. Something I never do on a recreational blog. I expanded my position and then realized I did not have to because you still have not made a case.

When I said "I have yet to be with a Christian who I felt treated me like a piece of meat." it was purely based on my personal definition of what that experience would be like to me. I am not shaming anyone.

While it is permissible to pause, consider, and examine our words, the effort to do so will always be subjective. We live in a society now where words are considered as weapons, not a great thing in my opinion, but it that light, it is a thing I participate in and am financially rewarded for it. While this blogging is recreational and few likely take my opinions that seriously, I still practice what I preach which is to defend and define your words and never let anyone add to your words, modify your words, or try to redefine them.

In closing, Kink Shaming in of itself is wrong. One's goal in life to not to make others feel badly. This is a subreddit on Christian Swinging. Some areas of kink always seem to run in the same circle, some communities of kink point out quickly that they believe Swinging is wrong and they do not participate in any form of sexual exchange. The point of the original post was to suggest boundaries that I have personally defined within the confines and expectations of my life. And its more than acceptable to put forth contrary views.

I viewed your comment stating I was kink shaming as an attack upon my words and values, which is why I defend them instead of shrugging my shoulders and moving on.

Note however that I was very clear in my context. I was referring to myself and my personal experience. Having been active in the lifestyle for many years, and indirectly engaged because of hosting events with many in the kink community, I understand that some choose that lifestyle openly and freely.

But in terms of my own preferences which I referred to therein, I clearly state that I don't as a personal generality like it.

As in all cases with all things sexual, people do use sexuality, sexual behaviors, and sexual choices for purposes of power and advantage. And people who proport to be Christians are involved with those behaviors. My position is that such things are contrary to Christ's message and what in my personal generality constitutes appropriate Christian behavior.

There is no kink shaming in that.

But as a side note, last night I witnessed something new, a couple using a taser on each other. Absolutely not my cup of tea and when "she" kept firing it off, I was most unsettled by it. But the couple treated each other with great respect and I suspect it was a shock novelty that you sometimes see in the kink community.

I am really interested in why you think my position is kink shaming?

Thank you.

It is certainly not my goal to shame anyone.

Ok - I am bad with the lust idea. The night I met my husband... true story... I rode for for an hour with someone I worked with to go onto a blind date with him, knowing there was a blizzard coming (this was in Iowa) and still going anyway. We were late because of the snow and he had given up on us and had went to the restaurant without us. We caught up just as the baby sitter (he had custody of his two kids) was taking receipt of a pizza for the kiddos. She told us where he was, which was the origin of the pizza. Best pizza ever! When we got to the restaurant, he was frantically apologizing and sweet. He then took us to the neighborhood bar and we danced all night having to walk back to his home because the snow was too deep. By midevening - I had a serious case of the LUST monster brewing inside me. And I got snowed in, and there were so few beds, and a house full of people, and I knew after one dinner and an evening of dancing that there was no way I was letting this one get away. His tucking the kids in sealed the deal for me.

The next morning he got up, Made everyone breakfast, and then apologized again because he had to take his kids to Sunday school. I asked if I could go along and we walked through the snow on a bright sunny morning. The plows had only partially cleared on lane as we walked 2 blocks to the Church. His kids were amazing. And that was that. From then on, I knew where I wanted to be, at his side. A few weeks later he took my two kids and his two kids to go cut down a live Christmas tree. When I look at our young kids so happy together, each taking turns cutting down the tree, then I knew nothing would ever pull this new family apart. Little did he realize, I had devious plans for that man! And I was so guilty about that whole lust thing!

I can see and understand your position. But I don't blame people for being judgmental. We forget how non-judgmental Christ was. We forget how doctrine, some dating back nearly 2,000 years incorporated judgmental behavior to support their theological views over others. Yes the remarkable thing about Christians of varying beliefs get along and accept one and other in the spirit of Christ. Though there were times when Catholics and Protestants killed each other over their doctrines, Christianity has slowly evolved beyond its judgmental limitations.

Too often, how we love, what we love where we love, who we love is put under a doctrinal microscope where the lens was crafted and polished as far back as the First Council of Nicaea. Don't get me wrong, we should not judge that, because at its time, with its timing, it sent the Christian church on a great trajectory. But so much has been gained and so much has been lost between then and now that we need to feel comfortable with reexamining Christ's plan for us.

This is a very good point and narrative. Which well expresses the position I feel on this topic. It also conceptually helped to find another way of expressing what I was trying to get across. When I wrote...

"slap a pair of handcuffs on me, roll me dog style and yell how do you like that bitch in between thrusts"

I had originally added it as a form of levity for the conversation.

I have been in the lifestyle a long time. I have seen some beautiful things, had some wonderful experiences, and met lots of dear friends along that path. I have also had some horrible experiences. When you talk about trust, its something that I know I sometimes offer up too freely. Of course, I think you were referring in your writing of the deep trusts that form with the closest of friends, family, and a spouse, life partner, or significant other.

That trust as you have expressed it, is so important, and something that we as Christians should do our best to never violate.

Thank you for the post!

You are likely right... but the more the evening, the more... and when he offered me his bed and he would sleep on the couch. Oh crap was I hot for that man...

Kisses!

I am an equal opportunity and equal age molester! If you are 60 and can give me an O, where do I sign up for that?

I love your posts, if anyone can add to this, you can! You are in my GTMTSDIRL category.

(Got To Meet Them Some Day In Real Life)

Up-Vote!

Thank you for contributing! I was in with a crowd in my late teens and twenties, that were a party crowd. It augured my first marriage into the ground and I found myself alone with two kids trying to juggle career. The crowd I worked with and hung-out with were in a business where negativity is part of the daily grind. But it was also like an emotional drug that was hard to step away from. I carried that into my second marriage, but fortunately a patient husband, faith and my growing family helped me move on from that.

Your approach to the lifestyle needs one little tweak... plan an adventure. Pick an event that is newbie friendly; a trip to Vegas, go to Naughty in N'awlins, take a trip to Desires or Hedo, or do a Swingers Cruise. Don't go with the goal of actually swapping. I tell couples to never swap on their first adventure. Soft-swapping is always a better option. So is simply being an exhibitionist or voyeur or both.

Funny story from one of my first adventures when we were still pre-swap. We were on the group bed at the 13th Floor in Dallas, just playing with each other, extremely horny because there were sexy couples playing all around us. We were watching, we were being watched, and having great sex all at the same time. On the way home, my husband asked why I was so loud? I hadn't even noticed it. But it seemed fun to be very vocal while having sex that evening. He loved it. Sometimes when in Roman, you do what the Romans do without even thinking about it.

Thank you! That is very kind of you to say. And I am here to take this journey with you if you ever have questions or want to dialog about this. Kisses - LV-Vixen

You didn't upset me, I was too vague. You reminded me of a valuable lesson on being very clear. When I re-read it, (thinking it was funny when I wrote it), I realized it was not clear and was stupid.

I get asked every so often if I play with older couples. It was a bad joke that intended to say that I have sex with couples from 20s to 60s. Age has never much bothered me. I enjoy anyone with skills. So I put skill at the top of my sexual desire list.

Sorry for a stupid and rushed post.

That is a very interesting way of expressing your point. I like it. Does that hold relevance for you in terms of Christ's message? Does it extend beyond your the personal relationship in your home? Into the community? Would like to hear more!

Been to Temptations twice and had a blast both times. But to be clear, it is NOT a swingers resort. If you get caught trying to hook-up you will be asked to leave. But you can run around topless at the pools, the beach and around the social parts of the resort. Must be covered back up in the dining areas.

Overall, Temptations is fantastic. I loved going there.

I run into people all of the time where the lifestyle has enriched their marriages and they are still going to parties well into their 60s - some into their 70s. Its been a blessing.

There isn't anything wrong with it. But with all things in a Christian's life, it must be held to a higher standard. There must be confidence and trust between spouses. There must be a code of conduct.

Perhaps it was because I grew up in the Midwest and the value system tend to be more accepting. I never had they types of experience you have had. I have met some who can be very judgmental and some who expressed their view that I am most certainly going to hell. But I think their is more going on there that simply a religious bias and virtue signaling. Perhaps I was lucky because I wasn't bounced around at all when I was young. I and my brothers all went to the same school K-8, St. Joe's and the same high school, lived in the same home and never moved in a small rural town. I lived in the same town until I went to college.

Perhaps one reason I support the lifestyle of recreational sex is because that community is also very supportive!

There are bad apples everywhere in life. My choice is to avoid those people.

Very well said! Thank you for the contribution! Easy decision to up-vote this.

Your welcome. Hope you contribute to the dialog. It's an important one.