So Spring is in the air, the weather outside is delightful and I feel renewed and ready for slings and arrows. Hopefully perhaps some thoughtful ideas on how to advance a theory on sin.
The Bible is not a simplistic book. It is influenced by countless unknown contributors, it reflects the needs of humanity at millennia of time periods in history. It is a history. It is a life manual. It is a wonderful collection of stories. And most believe that it is the authoritative reference on Sin. This theory both supports this but also disputes it as this wonderful book is used to persecute and Take away from lives by some who ignore the remarkable lessons about Giving that this book contains.
Most of it is a book of what not to do, lessons about what happens when you do something wrong. The Story of King David is an illustrative journey from innocence to becoming a king to falling from grace and then finding redemption. Its a story we retell over and over again, King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, all of the stories we love about someone taking on a Goliath, Jack and the Bean Stalk. All borrow story elements from King David's life.
THEORY: Sin is Taking. Giving is the Opposite of Taking. Giving is the anti-Sin.
So my positional theory on Sin is based on darkness. Sin is based in lies. Sin is based in deceit. Sin is based in Taking things from others that does not belong to you. Sin is what we act upon that in some way harms or takes things away or makes our fellow man feel badly. In its simplest form, Sin is Taking Something Away from someone else. Before I put forth the relationship with sex and swinging, let compare this with the 10 Commandments. Christ's lessons were about Giving.
1st Commandment - you are Taking from God what is rightfully His, He is our creator and you are Taking away His divinity (not that you could really do this, but you are in spirit) and He is sad when we stray. He wants as many happy Christians in Heaven one day as possible. He wants as few souls in the hands of Satan as possible.
If you examine each Commandment from the perspective of Taking something, you can begin to accept the theory that Sin is About Taking from God and Others. This served early Hebrews and the Jewish faith for thousands of years, and then came God's act of Giving humanity His Son Jesus.
Christ walked the earth in the spirit of Giving. He fed crowds, He made water into wine at a wedding ceremony, He restore the woman from potentially being stoned (Giving back her life), He gave us His Great Commandment and the Great Commission, which directed us to Give through love to our fellow man, Giving to them as you would want others to Give to you. To give all peoples the great message of Christ and His salvation that He Gives to all of us.
GIVING, TAKING, & SWINGING
I will always hate the term swinging. I prefer Recreational Sex. God who so perfectly made us Gave to us the gift of sex. A strong case could easily be made that sex is the strongest bonding experience that one could have with another human.
It's also very basic way that two people (or more people) can Give to one and other a joyful and intimate experience. But only if it comes from that spirit of Giving. The dark side of this I see all of the time. This happens when people are Taking more than Giving.
I see it almost every weekend. Jealousy, distrust, anger, resentment...
- The husband who is upset because his wife didn't want to play with the husband where he had a hot thing for the wife and she was repulsed by the husband.
- Not stopping thing when you spouse/partner is clear in distress, Taking that trust that you are watching out for him or her all of the time.
- The anger over rejection.
- Frustration over sex not happening.
- The Taking of Trust with lies and behind the back hook-ups.
- Taking sex from someone by viewing them as a lustful object and not a loving person. Putting your pleasure above him or her pleasure as they lay with you.
This is a very short list of things I see all of the time. Taking and not Giving.
But I also see love and beauty and Giving without Taking.
- Couples and Solos who form a unique and spiritual connection who enjoy sharing themselves with others. And sharing/Giving of this unique form of human pleasure.
- Couples and Solos who Give the gift of listening and understanding. Giving friendship without the expectation that sex will be given.
- People who Give to each other an erotic safe space for their desires not expecting anything in return.
- Giving without precondition. Not Taking without asking. No Taking advantage of situations.
- Recognizing the Giving that you are receiving, accepting it and Giving back in equal measure.
The most satisfying situations I have had in the lifestyle are based on Giving more than Taking and creating a personal connection with everyone I meet. And yes, you can meet someone and have a sexy weekend and never see them again, and yes you can still have that special connection. There are couples and people who stick out in my mind who I only interacted sexually with for one brief moment in time, yet because of their kindness and Giving nature both in and out of the bed, I will always remember them.
So what are your thoughts? Can you contribute to this? Are you ready to Give more than Take?
Kisses,
TMW
Second reply post just to stress...
Thank you for your post!
Thank you for putting in the time and energy for your response. Its much appreciated. Based on the past mention of Philo Thelos, I purchased Devine Sex and I must admit to only being 3/4 of the way through it. I have tried to figure out how to reach Philo, but cannot seem to find a thread that I can follow to ask him a few questions.
The book is a clinical review and interpretation of Sex and the Bible. I can agree with much that he says... but...
My spiritual search and personal doctrine was developed not to justify sex. It was to establish core beliefs for all aspects of life. The principle difference between what Philo has to say and my core belief is he has approached his doctrine from the Bible as a whole work. I agree with much of what he says. While my approach shares some commonalities with Philo, my structural belief differs.
I get a LOT of slings and arrows when I make this next statement but it is the core difference between how I approach core beliefs and sex verses Philo (based on what I have read thus far). I have done the heretical (according to some) step of prioritizing the Bible. As I am a Christian, the highest priority governing our lives is Christ. The old testament was the past, the Epistles the future. The most important lessons for Christians is what Christ said, taught and the behavior examples he set (including the miracles).
In my ideal world, a Christian branch or denomination starting fresh with that focuses on Christ. If Christ had lived in modern times and just left us to be with His Father, what would the Church doctrine be? What theology would emerge from that dogma? If we had the chance to walk with Jesus, what questions would we ask? The Christian Church started as a following, structured itself and became a religion. It served mankind well at a time when few could read and a very few had access to a Bible. The doctrine and theology that emerged from that time, served mankind well (for its time). But I question that doctrine and theology. I don't want to throw the baby out with the bath-water, its time for a re-examination.
There is what Christ taught us and there is Church doctrine. Christ taught his message here on earth and it was left to man to create doctrine. It's pretty clear that Christ acted in accordance with Hebrew doctrine. He recognized Jewish religious events such as Passover. And observed Jewish doctrine, laws, Traditions and theology. He did contribute a very important part of our religious observance which is the last supper, the sharing of bread and wine while recognizing Christ.
Catholicism is a big part of who I am. The doctrine (created by man, our core beliefs, inspired by Christ), the laws (created by man but often based on the 10 Commandments), the Traditions such as Christmas, our observances such as Easter and the Lenten Season, and Theology (also created by man) which is the roadmap of how doctrine in understood. I am grateful to have had that structure growing up. I raised my children in the Lutheran faith which is very similar so they would have that structure as well.
Catholicism and Lutheranism (which evolved from the Catholic religion), represent the man made parts of the Church. They incorporate things such as the Last Supper, but when these were constructed as early as the 300s, they were modeled after the needs of those times. Times when few could read and even fewer had access to a Bible or any form of scripture.
So I believe it is fair and wise and Christ like to reexamine these things for our times. Todays societal problems in our technological world, the often wants to stamp out our "Core Beliefs" and is very different from the time centuries ago.
So my personal doctrine, my personal theology is based around what I am blessed to be able to read - the Gospels. I believe in Christ's Great Commandment, Christ's Great Commission, the Sharing of the Last Supper reenacting that ritual that Christ asked us to keep when he said, "do this in remembrance of me". Church doctrine and theology is an interpretation of how to be a good Christian and what to believe. But it is of man which is why there are so many different theologies.
So we need to take accountability for what our personal doctrine and personal theology is, and we need to focus on the gifts God has bestowed, what Christ taught, and we can still appreciate the old but with a Christ centered focus on the new.
One critical characteristic of people I choose as friends in the Lifestyle is that they have the common sense and wisdom to keep their vanilla and non-vanilla lives separate. I have heard stories of people wanting to approach someone from Church because they were a flirty couple. Then it goes south on them. There are lots of flirty couples at my Church, I will never approach them.
What I like about the clubs, the parties, and the online sites like SDC and Kasidie is that the people I meet there, choose to be there. We know we are looking for the same things.
I would never call someone's interpretation twisted. I have had numerous people call my interpretations twisted.
I grew up in a strict Catholic home that followed traditional Catholic doctrine. Also traditional Midwest "girl stereotypes". So I understand exactly how your wife must feel. Because as women, we get our virtue system from both Church doctrine and society which glorifies sex but distains the act of sex.
I hope she finds her path. I found mine, but I admit, there are times when I still struggle with it. I would love to Free the Nipple, but not back in my hometown where I grew up.
You are too kind. I am not that skilled. But I do have faith.
That's sad. It would seem like he would have a lot to contribute to this dialog. There really are very few people who are knowledgeable not just about scripture, but the origin and meaning of scripture and how it pertains to our sexual beings.
That's wise. The clergy community is tighter than one would think. I believe that keeping vanilla and lifestyle separate are words to live by.
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I am not sure that one should travel the reading road I took. I got started when I realized there was more to all of this then what I was hearing every Sabbath or Sunday during the sermon. So I started to read books on Theology and the Origins of Christianity. Books about the various translations of the Bible, and about how some books got in and what books were left out. Plus I read some of the books that were left out.
All of this lead to a very simple theory on how to be Christian. It's what Christ said that matters. It's primarily in the Gospels. It starts with how Christ himself revolutionized faith. What came before him was scripture fulfilled, stories, histories, and laws that were certainly valid in the time of Moses. What came after was the interpretations of men trying to figure out how to build Christ's Church here on earth. What came before and what came after does not really contribute to Christ's central theme and message.
His Great Commandment
[37] Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. [38] This is the first and great commandment. [39] And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
On to ethical-porn and porn in general. Like everything, there is a fine line as Christians we do not cross. This is true with recreational sex and this is true with pornography. There are times I wish I didn't need to use that word. Because I love watching a beautifully shot, adult story that shows people having recreational sex. Showing sexual fantasies fulfilled. BUT when I see a video with three men all trying to insert their dick into one poor woman's backdoor, I switch it off. I have met dozens of women in porn in the lifestyle, most seem to always travel through Vegas at some time, and most are here each January for the AVN Awards. And I always ask them tons of questions. I will tell you, I have met a few (including myself) who enjoy anal or a DP with a normal sized dick and some others who do it but do not enjoy it. It's a paycheck for many. None have said that having DAP or TAP was pleasurable and noted it was often painful. Your own internal voice should tell you if a porn video is right or wrong. You have to decide.