Over the weekend we met up with a nice, good looking guy. We had been talking to him online for a long while. I've been the main catalyst in moving us toward the lifestyle. She's entertained the idea but never overly eager. We have talked about it like a fantasy a bunch. I haven't been overly pushy but I've definitely brought up the lifestyle many more times than she has.

I struck up a convo with a guy online about a year ago and she got involved with me texting him. She got excited with the texting but nervous at the thought of meeting. After texting the 3rd male one day she told me to go ahead and set up a dinner. That she'd like to at least meet him after all this time. But no sex would be happening. I asked if she wanted to set boundaries up. Like to first and second base just in case everything was going well. (We don't get nights out often, so if the possibility was there I wanted hard lines set just in case) she kinda laughed it off and said she doubted anything would happen. She said let's just "go with the flow" and absolutely no sex. Which I was perfectly fine with. We did set up an exit strategy if it beacame a train wreck.

Dinner went extremely well. We each had a few drinks and she was loving all the compliments he was giving her. We closed the restaurant and wanted to let the buz die before driving, also it was freezing outside; so we ended up in our vehicle still talking with her sitting in the middle. The talking started getting dirty and flirty. I started to grope my wife and he followed suit. She was getting into it rubbing our thighs. Then I kissed her and she kissed him. First and second base type stuff for about 30min. She got off and he got off.

She talked enthusiastically about how fun it was on the drive home but still didn't think she could ever do full on sex. I agreed and just want her comfortable.

Next day she was excited for another future meet up. But still couldn't believe we actually did stuff the night before.

Then the following day she was in tears. Worried she failed as a wife and as a Christian woman. I comforted her any way I could. She said it was all her fault and she wasn't strong enough. I told her by no means is she failing at anything. That I'd accept the blame for making it an option for our marriage. She feels she let God down. I don't believe she did. But seeing her with tears In her eyes I couldn't help but feel like the snake in the garden.

If it's something we agree on as a couple I'm fine with anything but I don't like her feeling such regret. Not sure how or if I can explain she's not wrong for enjoying it. She says she felt so selfish in the moment.

Can anyone point me in the direction to comfort her? I need to find my copy of "divine sex" it's been a year or so since I first read it but I know there are some things in there that could maybe help. She holds a "grew up in the chruch purity" view of her faith and I know thats causing her struggles. She spoke of another meet up with such excitement but If it's a one and done experience then I'll accept it.

Now everything seems OK, but when we listen to scripture podcast and marriage is brought up she gets choked up again. It's been about 5 days since the night it happened.

TL;DR: wife got to second base with another guy (with my encouragement) while I was there. She enjoyed herself but now feels like a broken Christian and bad wife