I’ve been lurking in this subreddit for a while now so might as well introduce myself.

I (M38) am married to amazing wife (F39) and our sex life is pretty good I guess. We’ve been married for 15 years and for the all of it I’ve been longing to share her with other men. I’ve been quiet about it because - you know. It’s not very easy thing to say in any situation, but in a christian marriage.. Even harded. We have two kids.

We were our first sex partners. My wife is very shy and conservative about anything sex related. She is open to try things (anal, bondage, outfits) but all the ”deeper” discussions are hard for her.

This year, for the first time, I was able to tell her that I get turned on by the idea of her having sex with other guy. It was a huge thing for me. I had only earlier said that I enjoy if she has sexy clothes and other guys look her. She got the impression that it is fantasy and not something I am going for.

Something that I had kept inside for 15 years.. She did’t get mad or anything, but was weirded out a bit. This was a relief anyway. She did ask if I want to have sex with other woman and I tried my best to convince her that I do not and that is not the reason I brought it up.

I have been hoping these feelings to go away, but they absolutely do not. They just get stonger and stronger and I have to speak about them.

I don’t think my wife will ever have sex with other guys and I am okay with it, though it hurts to think. But I would love her to know all of this. I don’t know how to start. She is very ”pure”. No porn, usually never masturbation, you know the type.

So that’s why I am here. For deeper discussions. Feel free to dm me. I want to understand from other christians. We are both active in church and help there whenever we can. This subreddit was a huge deal for me to find as I have never thought there would be a community where these could be discussed - so thank you already.