My partner and I recently ended things with a couple we had been swinging with who also happen to be good friends.

Things got complicated when the male in the other couple crossed some emotional/physical boundaries and the whole friendship nearly blew up. I put a lot of work into helping the other couple understand emotions, communication, emotional boundaries and felt I put a LOT of labour into salvaging the friendship and helping them sort through things in their relationship as well.

My partner and I decided we didn’t want to play with them anymore because of the boundaries that were crossed, and I felt just so exhausted from the mental and emotional labour of dealing with the whole situation.

The other couple has talked extensively about how I have helped them in so many ways and how they have really grown and benefitted from the whole situation. They quickly found other playmates.

I can’t help but feel really irked. As my friends, I want them to have the experiences they want and am happy that the pressure is no longer on us to satisfy them. However, on the other hand, I feel that I gave/they took more of my emotional energy than I had to give, benefitted from it, and are now doing better in the lifestyle because of it. I still feel hurt/exhausted (cause the boundaries that were crossed were with me). And now because we are still friends, I get to hear all about their new swinging experiences and how awesome it all is…

Am I wrong to feel that they are being insensitive/disrespectful to our friendship and relationship? We were good friends first and after the swinging experience- not just randoms to each other.

Am I wrong to wish that it felt more balanced? That we too benefitted from the situation in the same way?

Looking for some other opinions as I find myself getting caught in a loop with this narrative. I’m looking for some other helpful perspectives to process this and move on!