Thank you for starting this thread. Your header is spot on. How you choose to live your life and your relationship to God is your business. I looked at your other postings, and as an 18 year old young man, I can see how the inner conflict is tearing at your soul. And I have a very simple word of advice for you.

Reach out for kindred souls. Reach out based on love. And spend your time telling your story. Often when we tell our stories, we can find it easier to step back and do the self-evaluation. So here is my challenge to you, read the poem by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken. Then let us see your self-expression by creating a dialog with us on how you feel this applies to you. You are your first major crossroad in life. I see you reading the Bible and asking questions about how to read it yet not what its about. So accept what I am writing below as a dialog of ideas we can share and not a criticism of your topic.

There are a couple of things to point out. The Pharisees get a bad rap sometimes because they stood in opposition to Christ and denounced his teachings (in some ways). And for that, history has judged them harshly. The Pharisees were the radicals of their time though. They asserted that God could and should be worshipped even away from the Temple and outside of Jerusalem. They believed that worship did not include bloody sacrifices (as was the practice of the Temple priests) but worship was prayer and the study of God's law. Elements of their movement are found in modern Christianity.

Christ judged the Pharisees for being hypocrites, for seating themselves in places of honor, for wearing ostentatious clothing, and their desire to have people call them rabbi.

So by now, you are asking yourself, ok, what the hell is her point.

With the Pharisees, we did not throw the baby out with the bathwater. There are things that survive today. Could you imagine what it would be like if we were told that we could only worship or pray in Church? The same is true of the purity culture. First, it is one group's solution to what they see is the problem side of sexuality. Teen pregnancy's being one of the obvious drivers. If it works for them, who are we to judge. Though I admit the purity ring thing is creepy, I also realize that for thousands of families, it is meant as a loving commitment and a bond between parents and children.

I grew up in that environment, I saved myself for marriage, now decades into my life, I am not traumatized by that experience, I have grown to be at ease with my sexual self, I am a happy swinger who leads a non-monogamous lifestyle that suits me fine. And most importantly, I am a Christian who is comfortable expressing her faith.

So I hope you take the time to read this and reflect on it and understand that I am writing it with love and the best of intentions. My last word for you, don't start the Biblical read at Genesis. Worst thing in the WORLD you can do. Start with and take your time to understand the Gospels. Matthew, Luke, Mark and John. Read them several times. Grow to understand them. Learning about the unclean foods in Leviticus is not going to help you gain clarity about being a Christian.

So it's been a few days. How is your exploration coming? Have you uncovered answers? Or simply more questions?