I don’t have an agenda regarding this post. Feel free to agree or disagree. Comments and further chat welcome.

I grew up in a conservative Christian church. Not culty per se but very much “don’t be bad”, “I’ve kissed dating goodbye”, and certainly “no sex before marriage.”

Even as a jr high boy, I knew my drug of choice was sex. I wasn’t fucking anyone yet but masturbation became a part of my life. Wanted to add kissing and touching by the end of junior high and high school was more exploration and to see how far the girls wanted to go. (I wasn’t creepy about, it was just always in the back of my mind to get to oral and fingers etc.)

I honestly think it was the purity culture crap that made this an idol in my life. Yes I still would have had attraction to females but maybe I wouldn’t have been so focused on it if I’d just fucked someone and got it over with.

High school and college became the beginning of an addiction of making the girl I was with cum. No, I wasn’t corrupting all the church girls, everyone was young and horny and I was very clear to receive consent for moving forward. Often I’d request that my partner would take the lead when heading to any new territory. But here’s the thing: I would call my mind obsessed by sex. If it wasn’t seen as the “forbidden fruit” would I have be so damn distracted?

Maybe I’m looking for justification for being so sexually charged. Maybe I’m just wanting to get this off my chest and share that I always felt broken for being so damn horny and growing up Christian. Anyone else? I definitely did have my fair share of sex both before and since marriage and I’m just thinking about my upbringing and saying that I don’t think it helped to make sex such an idol for so long. Thoughts? Comments?