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Beginning to think I was never saved to begin with or lost my Salvation.
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So, I started my journey to Christ around 2016(and was baptized that year). I had an extremely powerful experience in 2020 with him that made me on fire for him like ever before(and was baptized AGAIN). Unfortunately, in later 2021 I went through bad stuff that caused me to backslide and it stayed that way for an entire year. In early 2023, I slowly started to come back(and was baptized in October 2023 AGAIN). Thing is though... I just don't feel as close to Him as I did... I still struggle with sin... and yes I ask for God's forgiveness and ask for his help in changing. I do read the Bible and fo to Church and tithe... I can tell you right now, I am just not feeling it anymore, even though I want to be on fire for God. I actually don't WANT to live that sinful lifestyle I was in, but it is so hard to get away from. I WANT to be on fire for God again, but honestly I find it hard to make myself go to church and read the Bible. Again, I pray aboyt this a lot... oh, and yes, I share Bible verses and church sermons on social media... and YES I am aware it is more about having a relationship with God more than being religious... I actually get that... I have talked to God EVERYDAY for years.... but I can tell you right now... I see very little spiritual growth(aside from being more patient with other people and starting to become more kind). I am beginning to think that maybe I am just not cut out to be a follower of Jesus, and that sucks because I want to be.

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10 months ago