And I’m in a grief spiral, and then it gets worse again the week after for the anniversary of my other parent.

My bf has lost his dad and he’s like well you’re letting it get to you. I took care him and then took care of it all before i let it get me.

And I just stay quiet. He lost his dad to cancer which is a terrible thing. (Still has his mom and 2 siblings)

Both of mine died suddenly with no warning, there was no preparation, no expecting it, no time.

Plus the grief just feels heavy every October because I’ll never forget the feeling of coming home to an empty apartment realizing I had no parents and no siblings and people don’t realize that that’s what makes me spiral. I’m aware that I’m coming up on the day I realized I’m completely alone.

It’s more enforced now bc my favorite cousin had a baby today and their parents keep going on and on how important it is that grandparents help and I’m just sitting here like I’d kill for my mom to be around if I ever had kids.

Anyways I just needed to get this off my chest bc I don’t want it to be a pissing match with my boyfriend.