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Even though I knew my mom wouldn't live for long or go back to her normal self, I still had stupid hope. Now that she died it's too real.
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I (34F) just lost my mom(63F) on December 12th. It started with Lung/Brain cancer to a stroke to Vascular Dementia to more strokes over the span of the last 7 years or so. She was "normal" and "healthy" before all of that. She turned into a person I didn't even know anymore. I thought maybe it would be a relief she was gone. I wouldn't have to see her all frail and out of it in a nursing home anymore. I thought I had grieved her loss when the dementia started. I'm realizing now she is gone for real. Forever. Sure, I knew she would never go back to her normal self but a tiny little sliver of me thought as long as she was alive there was hope. I feel like an orphan now. This shouldn't have happened at this time in my life. It's not fair.

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Thank you, that means a lot to me

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Posted
9 months ago