My mum (late 60s) passed suddenly a year ago. Her health had been on a drastic decline for the last several years. At some point knew we would lose her but I didn’t expect it now. I (mid-30s/f) thought we’d have more time, but the universe had other plans.

I am incredibly happy that she was able to see me get married and meet my husband. I was living 4K miles away from her when he and I eloped, but we moved closer the year before she passed. For mums sake (and after covid cooked down) we had a public wedding and reception which took place four months before her passing.

In so many ways this past year has been so incredibly difficult without her. I knew we were close, but didn’t fully understand how close until she was gone. There have been times I’ve just wanted to pick up my phone and call or text her. Tell her about all the mundane things going on or get her advice on different subjects.

The hardest part of it all has been dealing with multiple pregnancies in the last year that have ended in miscarriage. I know my mum struggled with fertility issues before and after I was born.

Sometimes I feel like such a young child who has no idea how to navigate this world without her. I never expected to feel so lost without her guidance and support.

I just want my mum back.