New to the group so bear with me. I lost my brother 37 years ago to leukemia. He was 12 and I was 10. His death happened right in front of me. I can still remember the last moments; his eyes rolling back, everyone screaming, hell I can even remember the score of the game that was on TV. It’s been 37 years and it bothers me more now than it ever has. I lost my dad 13 years ago and my relationship with my mom is better. I was blessed with four children that never knew their uncle or grandfather. When milestones happen, there’s a bitter sweet feeling towards it. I’m happy the event is happening , yet sad that they’re not there to enjoy it. I get jealous of people who still have their family intact and sometimes angry at them when they don’t speak to their siblings. I coach football which reminds me of the times when we played together because it was our favorite thing to do. I’ve been in counseling for years which has helped dramatically. However, since I’ve been getting older, the mounting losses and time that has passed is getting to me now more than ever. Do other people experience this?