i honestly don’t remember much of my childhood but i do know it ruined my life (or my life was ruined when i was born)

i’m the youngest one in my family so i always had to fight for attention. at a young age i found out that the internet had tons of people who would shower me with attention but it took me 10 years to realize it was the wrong kind of attention.

i don’t really know how but i made my way to a dark side of the internet full of sex, drugs, and other horrors (some of these images are still burned into my brain) i spent my entire childhood on the internet being degraded by old men and my young mind was essentially formed into a sex slave. i have spent the last few years trying to break out of this mould but it feels impossible.

i know therapy is a option and i’ve been going for years but i don’t know how i can heal when ive seen and done stuff that i can never say out loud. to make it worse i sent out thousands of pictures and videos as a kid. i live in constant fear knowing my life can be farther destroyed at any second.

it also affects the way i think and interact with others. i know it’s horrible but i view everyone and thing including myself as a sex object. i essically spent the most formidable years of my life being fed the idea that my only purpose in life is to have sex.